Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Piece by piece

These past few days have been hard on my guest.
She had been so worried for her sister and her friend  
Poor Corina, doubly betrayed; first by my guest, then by Sammi. 
I’ll leave it to Sunshine to fill you in on the gory details hehe but suffice it to say that Sammi is quite the little monster herself

My guest was having such trouble believing her little sister could do something like that. It was truly touching, the faith that she had in her, only showing concern and pleading that we tell Sammi that she loves her. It made it all the more beautiful when Sammi’s response was to call her a fake bitch. To be fair, I don’t think Sammi knew of her sister’s predicament, but I could tell from the look on my dear guest’s face that those words had broken her already wounded heart.

It wasn’t long after that it became apparent she was starting to believe what Sunshine was saying about her sister.

So she’s had to deal with the death of the friend she had attempted to betray, the fact that her sister is not what she thought and the trauma of her sister calling her a bitch after she had gone through so much pain and worry for her. Not only that but for all either of us knows, her sister could be dead now.

This on top of the tortures I have been inflicting upon her. Oh yes! I’ve been cutting away at her mentally and physically. As I hinted at in the last post, I’ve been working on renaming her. The symbol I carved into her is just a stylized, aesthetic arrangement of the letters of her new name. While I’ve been calling her Kristy here, for the sake of clarity and keeping you in suspense hehe, I’ve been calling her by another name when speaking to her:


Decided upon that name for a variety of linguistic and literary reasons that perhaps I might share at some point. For right now, I have too much else to say, so I’ll just leave it at that. Just know that this is the name by which I will refer to her from now on. She hasn’t accepted the name as her own yet, of course, but that’s okay. She will.
Been continuing the cutting and stitching too.
So pretty and getting prettier with every cut. Oh the hate that was in her eyes when I told her that hahaha

Cut further designs into her such as this one

And this one

Like the one of her name, these designs are just words with the letters aesthetically arranged. The first one being Ritter, the second one being Rache, which is German for revenge. Certainly superior markings to that meaningless rose. These have plenty of meaning behind them

Anyway, back to my initial point; this has been a difficult few days for Fell. The poor dear was distraught, so I figured I’d cheer her up.

So on Saturday, we had a girly night!! Eee!!

Made a special shopping trip earlier in the day to pick up some tea and razor blades just for it!

Later that evening, I put on a movie on my laptop… Not a fan of chick flicks but I figured a Dario Argento film would work just as well. Ever see Phenomena? If not, you should. Where else are you going to see the girl from Labyrinth, Dr. Loomis, a chimp and several varieties of insect team up to fight crime? It’s awesome!

Sunshine had previously told me that Sammi had mentioned Fell’s favorite type of tea, and suggested that I should brew some of it, just to let her smell it. So that’s exactly what I did. As the scent of the tea filled the room, she started to shake.

Wouldn’t be a girly night without someone’s hair getting done, so I did hers.
And by that I mean I cut her hair short. The shaking made it difficult to get it even, but it was worth it.

We talked about boys too. Specifically, I asked her again about her boyfriend and if he is cute. She told me that he is. I could see how much it hurt her to think about him at that point.

I couldn’t exactly do her nails as she only has two left, so I focused on her fingertips instead. I used a razor blade to remove a few layers of skin from each of her fingertips.
“There! See! I’ve even changed your finger prints” I said with a smile when it was done 

I was wearing my collar at the time so I took it off and let her try it on. It looked quite good, though she didn’t seem to like it, so I left it on her.

These actions might seem pointless as they cause minimal physical discomfort, but I figure that the less that she has to hold onto in terms of her current identity, her self-image, the better. At the same time, the smell of the tea, the memories it carried for her, that little reminder of just what I was taking from her was clearly taking its toll on her mind. She quietly whimpered, groaned and cried as I went about my work. She’s adorable, but especially so when she cries.

There was no begging, however. As a matter of fact, since Friday, she has been in something of a stupor; crying out whenever I hurt her, but otherwise remaining silent. I guess the incident with Sammi really took it out of her. That changed today however…

So now we’re playing a little game, I’ll post the details tomorrow, as well as whether she won or not.  


  1. It's a testament to her strength that she's lasted so long-- entire weeks, a month soon.

    Your word designs for her have an incredible, grim beauty to them, stay well, dear Wolf.

    1. I've actually been very careful with what I've been doing to Fell in terms of the physical torment. The wounds she's received may hurt a lot and look bad, but they're not life threatening unless they get infected and I've been working hard to avoid that. I think the little game was the riskiest thing I've done. Also I've been feeding her.
      Thus, on a physical level, it's not surprising that she's still alive.

      In terms of her mental state, yes, she's proving herself to be tougher than she seemed.

      As for the designs, thank you. I'm glad you see the same beauty in them that I do.

      And thanks again for wishing me well