Thursday, October 31, 2013

Happy Halloween

Ah, my favorite holiday. Glad I got to celebrate it once more.
Went to the Halloween festival on Saturday and had a great time. It was wonderful to see all the different costumes people were wearing. I especially liked the day of the dead calavera style makeup that I saw a few people with.

Love dancing with Fell and that’s exactly what we did for most of the evening at one of the clubs. Had an interesting conversation with a man, at one point. We were at the bar so Fell could get a drink when he drunkenly sauntered over. Apparently he liked what we were wearing. I was dressed in cybergoth style and Fell was dressed as rule 63 sexy Jesus. He asked about the “wires” in my skin- assuming them to be part of the costume. I told him that they were part of some sub-dermal body modification. He grinned and pulled up his sleeve; showing off some work that he had done. There was a scar band around his wrist where he had removed some flesh. Then he pointed out the implanted stars under his skin. They were indeed quite lovely. Pointing to the horns that were affixed to his forehead, he said he’d like to get something like that implanted eventually; going on about how much he loved the idea of treating his own body like a canvas- a work of art in progress. I could not help but smile under the surgical mask I wore; feeling the urge to help him in this regard. However, I did not want to ruin the vision he had for himself and I was determined to keep the fun non-violent on this night. Fortunately, his friends showed up and distracted him long enough for me to take my leave. By this time, Hart had long since disappeared, so we looked around to see where he had gone. Found him outside behind the bar with a woman. Not wanting to interrupt, we wandered around the street, admiring the other costumes- from the three headed nun, to the various video game characters, to the one guy who was dressed as Ritter. There was one person who was dancing with flaming batons, so we had stopped to enjoy her performance when someone called out to Fell, making a crude reference to wood and getting nailed. She told him to get on his knees and worship her ass. I pulled her back into the crowd before things could escalate. We met up with Hart, staggering along and adjusting the Venetian domino mask he had borrowed from me. He grinned sheepishly as we teased him. “It’s alright my son. I forgive you” Fell said, with her arms extended in that palms up position one often sees saints and angels depicted with. We had a good laugh and I brought us home.

Tonight, we find ourselves in the midst of a candy fueled horror marathon, including The Conjuring, Sinister, The Lords of Salem and The Exorcist. This is made even more enjoyable by the fact that Roy has come for a visit once more. The poor dear seemed like he could use some time away from it all, so I picked him up earlier this evening. I can tell that something troubles him and we do have much to discuss, but not tonight. Tonight, we are celebrating.      

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Oh Carmine

Such a vain little pretty boy. So proud of that lovely face of yours. You are fortunate to be in such good hands. With a few careful cuts I have made you look even better.

You didn’t seem to like what I was doing at first when I propped you up and made you look at your reflection, but look at you now- smiling from ear to ear. Haha oh that smile certainly made things interesting when I cut out your tongue and took your remaining teeth. You never had anything intelligent to say, so I figured you wouldn’t miss them.

Don’t worry about your nose, dear. Without it, one can now focus on the beauty of your remaining eye. And your hair? That will grow back eventually, once your scalp has healed up a bit. I wonder if I could keep you alive that long…

Anyway, with the pieces I’ve taken, you look sort of patchwork… 
like a big doll

Personally, I think it goes well with the cuts and stitching on your chest and stomach   

You agree right? Yes, that was a nod. There’s a good boy. I knew you would come around eventually.

Not too difficult to break someone down when you understand them; when you know just what pieces to strip away to make them more malleable. You’re a simple creature Carmine- one that was easy to dissect. Heh… and you said you had nothing to learn.

Oh… about your arms… You’ll get them back soon

Tuesday, October 15, 2013


It was Thanksgiving yesterday so we each pitched in to put together a feast. Fell peeled and chopped the vegetables, Hart and I did the cooking and Carmine supplied part of the meal with his own flesh. It was nice to work on the meal together and I am glad that Hart seems so much more at ease around Fell and I as of late. We cooked a bit of turkey too, just to keep within tradition as well as to give Hart something to eat as he would not partake of human flesh and I would not force him. As the title of this post suggests, our dinner was wonderful. I guess Carmine turned out to be good for something after all.

In case you’re wondering, Carmine is still alive- though I’d imagine he is starting to wish that was not the case. Oh how he screamed as I cut the meat from him. I told him to stop whining. He raped me, after all. He wanted to get inside me that badly before, so why complain about it now?
Some people just don’t know what they want. He had no response for me and it’s just as well. There was nothing he could say to save himself.    

However, being the kind soul that I am and seeing how it was Thanksgiving, I could not bear to let him go without a meal. I have been keeping him fed and watered only enough to stay alive, so he was quite hungry when I finally brought a plate out to him. I took up some of the meat- part of that which I had cut from him earlier- and held it to his lips. He resisted at first, but the promise of the vegetables which were also on the plate, along with my threats of starving him until he ate what was offered broke him down. He wept quietly as he consumed his own flesh. To his credit, he remembered his lesson and did not beg. Once his meal was finished and he had been given some water, I asked him if he was thankful for anything. He stared at me in an apparent loss for words, so I decided to help him.

“You could be thankful that you got a nice cooked meal” I said  

“Maybe you’re thankful that you are still alive… or at least that your penis is still attached to your body for now”

He scowled at me. Apparently he still had a little fire left in him, so I decided to snuff that out by stepping on one of his wounds. I continued as he gave out a low, pained cry

“Just think of your good fortune for now…”  I said, slowly putting more weight on the wound “Because things could always get worse”

With a smile, I stepped back and left him to his thoughts. 

Moving on, I suppose I should tell you what I’m thankful for.
I’m thankful that I made it this far. I’m thankful for the experiences I’ve had- both good and bad- as they led me to where I am; they led me to become part of this wonderful, insane family and to make good friends and fun enemies. I’m thankful for the fact that I can look back upon my life and be satisfied with the choices I have made. It’s a day late, but happy Thanksgiving. And here, have some music

Hey turkey fuckers! The Wolf just handed this over to me and asked if I wanted to say anything so here the fuck we go. I’m thankful that I ended up here with the Wolf. I love her and I know she loves me. I’m thankful to be with someone who actually cared enough about me to get me to a doctor and nurse me back to health when I got hurt instead of just leaving me to die. That’s all I got so happy thanksgiving and fuck your uncle!

Uh I don’t know how I’m supposed to follow that up but here it is. I’m thankful to be alive, to have a roof over my head and food in my belly, and to have a couple friends in this shit storm. I’m also really really thankful that Wolfie doesn’t make me eat people. Yeah.
Happy Thanksgiving and… don’t fuck your uncle?    

Saturday, October 12, 2013

Busy busy busy

Been tied up with a few things; a little training, a little HR, a little event planning. Still have some time yet before I have to do that certain something that Ritter wanted me to do, but I intend to be fully prepared and as accustomed to the Azoth within me as I can be.

Hasn’t been ALL work though. Making sure to take plenty of time just to do what I enjoy. So often we forget to do that; to enjoy the little things. Like the apple I am snacking on as I write this. Ever since the Azoth was made part of me, I have had strong cravings for apples and coffee. Doesn’t matter that much, I suppose. I just thought it was somewhat amusing.

But, back to the point, I took Fell and Hart to a place I know. It was home to a settlement over two hundred years ago. The stone remnants of the houses and cellars still stand, along with a couple of tombstones. The land around it is hilly and beautiful, leading to jagged cliffs, stone beaches and rock formations. The cliff in one area is worn away into a horseshoe shaped groove. I looked over the edge, watching the waves crash against the rocks below, then lifted my eyes to the horizon. So lovely.

Upon Hart’s suggestion, we also took the time to head out for a game of pool… and myself and Fell were promptly bested. Apparently, our dear Hart has some hidden talents. He went on to make a few wagers with a couple of people and win. I admit, I was worried, given Hart’s issues with addiction in the past, but he handled himself well and knew when to walk away.  

I also set aside some time to draw a silly little sketch based on Calavera’s recent antics.

This is what happens when I draw while old cartoons are playing in the background

Oh, and you’re probably wondering whatever happened to Carmine. Let me assure you, my bloodthirsty dears that I have not forgotten him. I have been trying to take things slow both to ensure that he suffers for as long as possible, and because I wanted to be able to cut a nice portion of meat from him this weekend. It will be Thanksgiving after all. Can’t let it go by without a good meal. That being said, he looked so terribly unbalanced with no hands and both feet that I just had to do something to make them match. I started by slicing the flesh from the bottoms of his feet. Then I poured some salt into my hand, which I jammed into his wounds. I followed that with a heated blade to seal it off.

After giving him some time to savour that sensation, I returned to pry off his toenails, which started his feet bleeding afresh, so I salted and burned his wounds again.

The next time I returned to him, I decided to play with the Azoth once more. It was lovely seeing the terror in his remaining eye as I felt the tendrils burning through my skin. His fear got the better of him and he started begging again. I was disappointed in this regression as he had not done so during the last couple of times I worked on him. I thus informed him that since he could not keep up with that lesson, we would have to try something simpler. Perhaps a nursery rhyme would not prove too advanced for him. I knelt by his feet, took hold of one and wrapped the tendrils around his big toe.

I spoke softly and slowly to him as I began:

“This little piggy went to market…”
The Azoth began to twist his toe until it broke; then kept going until it came off. I waited for his screams to die down before I continued

“This little piggy stayed home…”
The tendrils bent this one slowly back towards the top of his foot until it was pressed flat against it. Digging a tendril into the base of the toe, I severed it from him completely

“This little piggy had roast beef…”
This toe, I filled with the tendrils, as I had done with his hands. It ruptured and flew apart, leaving nothing but scraps of shredded flesh.

“This little piggy had none…”
I wrapped the tendrils around this one and began squeezing. The toe was slowly crushed to a pulpy mess which was easily pulled from him. His screams were now reduced to a low, anguished moan, which meant I didn’t have to wait to continue as I had done before.  

“This little piggy cried wee wee wee all the way home”
The tendrils dug into this one and slowly pulled it free of his foot.
I finished with more salt and burnings, then left him once again.

I eventually repeated the action with his other foot, except I made him say the rhyme as I did it. He refused at first, so I carefully explained what I had intended to do to his feet next. After I was finished with his toes, I would remove his feet entirely. This would, of course, be painful and whether he did as I said or not, it was still going to happen. However, if he chose not to cooperate, I would be sure to remove the remaining skin from his feet before I took them from him.

He sobbed and finally choked out the words “This…this little piggy went to market…”

After I finished with his toes, I removed his feet without skinning them, as promised. I dug my tendrils into the joints until they were separated, then cauterized the stumps. He cried, but did not beg.

“Maybe there is hope for you yet, my dear.” I laughed

Then I told him a story, patted him on the head and wished him goodnight. He was trembling before, but his shaking grew worse at this. He gave out a delirious laugh and said goodnight in return.