Thursday, July 28, 2011

Peeling Back the Layers

I… I don’t want to talk about this

I have to

I know I have to… If I lose myself I will need to know why I did what I did…

“It has to hurt if it’s to heal”


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I feel sick… 

My head feels like it’s breaking apart

I need to get out 
 

Monday, July 25, 2011

Identity Interlude 3

There are a few things I enjoy collecting…

I collect action figures, dolls, stuffed toys, and NES games 


As well as wind instruments and masks


The mask in the front there is my most recent addition to my collection

I also keep a few fish



These things give me a sense of comfort...

Knit Wolf, these things may seem meaningless to everyone else, but they are important to you. Remember and hold on to them  

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Story Time 2

Once upon a time there was a little girl who, though she was far from perfect, tried to be good.

One fine day she was sent on an errand that took her through the woods where she was spotted by a wolf who ran to meet her where the paths crossed.

The wolf introduced itself quite politely and asked where she was off to in such a hurry. Returning the politeness, she told the wolf of her errand.  “Which path will you take my dear?” asked the wolf “the path of needles or the path of pins?” “The path of needles,” she responded. “It’s such a beautiful day” said the wolf, “why not take the time to enjoy it and pick some flowers?” At this, he bid her farewell and wandered off down the path of pins. The little girl, thinking nothing of this,  continued on her way down the path of needles. She tried to be good by staying on the path, but tempted by the wolf’s suggestion, stopped to pick flowers along the way.  

So it was that the wolf made it to the destination first and knocked on the door with its paw. When the knocking was answered, the wolf took bloody measures to ensure that no one else would be around to greet the girl when she arrived.

Eventually, the little girl made her way there. She was about to knock on the door, but there was an eerie quiet, a feeling that something wasn’t right that made her hesitate.

She instead decided to peek in through the window first.  Upon doing so she was greeted with a terrible sight. The floor was covered in blood and moving about the mess was the wolf.
The little girl froze in shock as she took in the horror before her. “What big eyes it has,” she thought, “what big ears…. and teeth!” At this, she snapped out of her shock and started to run back the way she came. 

The wolf finally noticed her as she ran and broke through the window to give chase. The wolf tore after her at first, but she had a good head start and it was cut from the glass, so it let her go. The wolf wasn't too upset at the loss, for it knew, as did the little girl, that she would eventually have to go through the woods again and it would be waiting.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Shedding Light


A few things that have been on my mind since skinny boy let me know he would go along with my little plan and they can all be boiled down into the simple question of “why?”

I’ve said that I made this blog in case I start to lose myself.  I’ve heard stories of people who have completely lost their individuality to him. They are mindless slaves who have no choice but to carry out his will. This makes me wonder why I’m not one of them. I wonder why he is bothering with my plan and allowing me to continue to work for him out of my own free will if he could just take my mind and force me to do whatever he wanted. Does it amuse him? I wonder if he has a sense of humor…

Perhaps he just regards this whole thing as an easy way to control me. He could just be stringing me along with no intention of delivering, I suppose… But for some reason, I don’t think that’s what’s happening…    On that note I wonder what he’ll do once I have my revenge… What will he have left to control me with? I’m not afraid of him like I was at first… hmm

I heavily suspect that once my goal is achieved, and he no longer has that control, he will kill me or kill me as a person. That is why I said that I don’t know how much longer I’ll be around after. Of course, there is also the possibility that he could decide to break our deal at any time.  Another thing is that my situation had caused me to seriously contemplate and almost commit suicide, so for a while I was thinking that I might not be around long because I might just kill myself…
 
I tell you, working for Slendy is an interesting experience… the health benefits are terrible but there is a great chance for "early retirement"  

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Sunshine

It was just after the point that I sent OPOF after Penelope that I began work on something of a gift for him. It was a doll version of himself as I imagined him. Why? Because that’s what I do when someone or something really catches my attention, though as I said to him, it's incredibly rare for me to base a stuffed toy on a person.

 

He started questioning my interest in him. I think he was operating under the assumption that I was just a girl looking for romance with a bad boy and believed that he would not harm me if we met. This was not the case at all. I admit that when he spoke of what he could see of me in that picture, it made me blush that he was actually looking so closely, regardless of the intent, but I wasn’t looking for love. I wasn’t expecting to be treated differently than anyone else if we ever met. I don’t expect mercy as I have none left to give. I just wanted good conversations, catharsis to help me endure the pain caused by those who hurt me, and to take in his raw, ugly, beautiful hatred and violence.

This leads me to a question that’s been on my mind… Sunshine, you know why I follow your blog. You should have a good understanding of what you are to me by now. What I want to know is why do you keep coming back here? What am I to you?