Monday, August 29, 2011

Story Time 3

Once upon a time there was a little girl who just couldn’t seem to stay on the path that was assigned to her. Those who had power over her saw her as defective, and sought to be rid of the defect by beating it out of her mentally and physically. Unfortunately, no matter what they tried, they just couldn’t fix the ugly creature.

The little girl sought brief escapes from the torment by walking through the woods. It was an area that was dangerous but one that held the promise of freedom, so she armed herself with a knife and took the risk. It was during one of these walks that she was spotted by a wolf, who ran to meet her where the paths crossed.

The wolf introduced itself quite politely and asked where she was going. Returning the politeness, she told the wolf that she was merely enjoying a stroll through the forest.  “Which path will you take for your little stroll then, my dear?” asked the wolf “the path of needles or the path of pins?” She thought for a moment, an idea creeping into her head. “Neither” she replied, “I think I’ll make my own path.” With that, she took out the knife. The wolf snarled and went to lunge at the girl, but stopped when she plunged the knife into her own flesh. The wolf watched curiously as she cut out her own heart and placed it on the ground as an offering. The little girl told all and promised more prey, in addition to the heart, if the wolf would only help her. The wolf accepted and was embraced by the girl as it consumed her heart.

Later that evening, she and the wolf returned to those who hurt her.

“Can’t you see our suffering?” they screamed

“My eyes are blind to it” she said

“Can’t you hear our torment?” they cried

“My ears are deaf to it” she said

“What of your soft heart?” they desperately pleaded

“My heart is gone,” she responded. “I gave it to the wolf as it was dead and doing me no good. You killed it in your efforts to improve me. Allow me to show you the same kindness”

With that, the girl joined the wolf in tearing into them.

As they lay dying, they couldn’t tell one from the other

Friday, August 26, 2011

Identity Interlude 5

I love the scent of the dead leaves in fall, the evergreen trees in winter, the damp earth in spring, and the lilacs in early summer

My favorite time of the year is fall. The temperature is just right and I love Halloween; the costumes (I’m adept at sewing so I get to make my own), the decorating, and the pumpkin carving. It’s just plain fun…  

I like being outside, and I very much enjoy wandering through the parks and other wooded areas around here… very pretty, very peaceful

I like most animals… except birds….

Among the animals I find most interesting are wolves (surprise), spiders, goblin sharks, cuttlefish, jelly fish and angler fish     

While on the subject of animals, I should mention my fish. I talked about them before, when they were still alive… They’re dead now. I killed them last night… Don’t know why I did it… I thought I was asleep and dreaming as I took them out of the water one by one and watched them die
Slendy was there at the time… Did he make me do it or have I gone that insane? I don’t think I’m insane, at least not in the out of control, don’t know what I’m doing kind of way…

If he did, then why? Is he just messing with me? Trying to prove a point? Did he require some kind of sacrifice? Did he just really want seafood?

Heh… If that’s the case, then I could have gotten him some fishcakes or cod tongues instead

I don’t think I did anything to anger him… Maybe he just knew that watching them swim calmed me and that’s not a state he wants me to be in right now…

Ah well, as long as he’s still on board with the plan, it’s fine. I’m not even surprised that they wound up dead… He doesn’t have a good history with pets, after all. I’m just curious as to his motives here, especially in having me do it …

Hmm this post seems to have gone off the rails

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Dreams and curiosities

It’s been a few days since my last post. Aside from my work, most of that time was taken up by sleeping, dealing with some of the others, and keeping an eye to certain blogs

I seem to have gone from a period of sleep deprivation to sleep overload, not that it makes things any better. The sleep felt thick and heavy and I woke up feeling more exhausted than before.  I remember dreaming that my dear employer was watching those who hurt me. He was closer this time.

The only other dream I recall having was like something out of The Ring.  I was looking down into a stream. There was a snake swallowing its tail circling slowly under the water against the stream bed. Then it switched to the same thing but done as if it were on a cheap kids’ show, with the water being represented by two long pieces of blue cardboard, cut to make wave shapes, moving back and forth and the snake being represented by a puppet. The dream switched again and I found myself in the basement they locked me into, looking up at the door which then started to open. Then everything went black but I could hear things. The dream had been silent up until this point, but now there were sounds. I heard what sounded like a mix of static, the buzzing of a fly and someone crying. The crying was then replaced by another voice that spoke to me. I can’t remember what it said. The dream went silent again and I was underwater, looking up at the surface but not trying to get there. I feel like there was more to the dream than that, but I can’t remember. I just remember waking up feeling sick and making it to the bathroom before vomiting. 

I don’t know if that dream means anything or not, but considering it was one of the only two dreams I remember having over the past few days, and I was ill right after, I thought I should make a record of it just in case.

As I mentioned, I’ve also had to deal with some of the others. Not much to say about that. I played my expected role again and maintained the illusion of status quo just as I did with those who hurt me.

As for the blogs I’ve been following, well that in itself is nothing new. Still watching out for any word from my catalyst, but he’s been quiet lately.

What’s odd is the reaction I got from Morningstar on his blog on Saturday…  Seems I struck a bit close to home with an offhand comment, which he promptly deleted, claiming spoilers… Curious…  There was only one part of what I said that could possibly make sense in causing that reaction… hmmm…

Speaking of blogs, I notice I have a follower now

Hi Dia :)

If you’re reading this, know that I am just tickled that you have chosen to follow my attempt (probably in vain) at retaining my identity in some way while working for Skinny Boy. May I ask if there’s any particular reason why you’re here, or are you just keeping tabs on anyone who has seen Slendy and decided to commit it to a blog?

Monday, August 15, 2011

Death, chaos and a lovely view

As I’ve said before, I don’t know if I’ll be around for much longer… Slendy has agreed to my plan but he could kill me at any time and there is the possibility (unlikely but still there) that I could fail at my revenge…  Also, Morningstar could apparently kill us all tomorrow if he does what he's been told. That would be interesting if it happened. Heh… perhaps I should get some confetti just in case

Anyway… it’s with all that in mind that I’ve been going to certain places that I wanted to see again and trying a few new things too.

For example, I had to see this view again

It was fairly warm that day, so the breeze was quite nice. There also weren't too many people around at the time, and Slendy was nowhere in sight, so I enjoyed the few quiet moments I had there before making my way back down

I also had the pleasure of eating seal meat for the first time. It was meat from a flipper put into a pot pie and I must say it was delicious and very tender. The flavor is like a blend of beef and seafood. I highly recommend trying it if you get the opportunity. The funny thing is that there are a few people who would think that eating seal is more monstrous than anything else I have done or will do hehehe

Ah well... I just figured I'd make this post to let anyone interested know what I've been up to, aside from the obvious.

Friday, August 12, 2011

Been reading

about old torture devices because I like to keep my mind occupied while I knit.
It got me thinking about a few things, which I figured I’d share here.

Have you ever really looked at some of them, like the iron maiden, the brazen bull, the pear of anguish or crocodile shears?  

Some incarnations of these are fairly plain, but others are lavishly decorated and beautiful. You can tell that a great amount of time and skill went into making these instruments of pain and death as aesthetically pleasing as possible… Agony and ugliness made beautiful. An embrace of the monstrous

During the time of their use, those who commissioned the construction of these devices or who condemned people to suffer their effects were respected, moral, individuals within society. My question is what does that say about the average “good” person if they’re willing to accept, respect and in some cases enjoy the aesthetic or spectacle of such a thing?

You may be wondering why I ask that question in the present tense, as people and the world have changed and such horrifying implements are no longer used…

Well, I don’t believe people really have changed that much, it’s just that instead of joining the crowd at the arena or at the local gallows, people turn on the news or go online. How many “good” “normal” people do you think watched the video of that reporter being beheaded a while back?  Lots did and I bet some even jerked off to it.

Anyway… OPOF already made this point with his game… I bet even if there wasn’t the justification of punishing a pedophile, some “good” person would probably still have come up with suggestions.

It just really struck me tonight upon reading about the work of the morally superior and their efforts to make torture palatable. 

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Adorable and Monstrous

That was the apt description given to my work by a man at one of the local markets I attended not too long ago. He espied one of the Slendy dolls I had on the table at the time and inquired as to what it was. I obliged him with an explanation of course, and he seemed delighted at the idea, saying that he had a friend who would love this sort of thing. He then went on to tell me how important my work is, how important monsters are and how they should not be forgotten but cherished. I smiled, agreed and thanked him for the compliments… and the purchase…

Heh... I do hope that he kept his own words in mind   

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Identity Interlude 4


I love tattoos. Mine are of great importance to me. First and foremost I view them as a rite of passage… something to mark transitions or accomplishments. To a lesser extent they are a way to claim myself, to change in a way that I choose as opposed to being changed to suit someone else

I admire many types of body modification, be it piercing, tattoos, branding or scarification, though it always bothers me when some people do these things without thinking about them. For example, if someone just wanders in and picks a tattoo design from a book. I know not everyone thinks of body modification the same way, but it still bothers me, for some reason

On, the topic of different forms of body modification, I once saw pictures of people who had their lips sewn shut as a form of meditation. I can’t put it into words just how beautiful I thought that was. The artist who did it for them was Russ Foxx… In my more positive hours, when I can lie to myself that everything might be okay, I keep thinking that one day I’ll make the trip to visit him and get some scarification done to mark getting through this.

I could scar myself, as many do, but I don’t trust myself to make a good even design that will heal the way I want it to… The only scars I’ve given myself are cuts that weren’t done for art or accomplishment, but for the sake of causing pain on the outside to make the pain on the inside easier to deal with… I haven’t done that in a while though

Anyway, I think I’ll end here before completely derailing this into such depressing topics

Knit Wolf, these things may seem meaningless to everyone else, but they are important to you. Look to your own flesh to remember   

Monday, August 1, 2011


Feeling better

Slendy actually let me have some restful sleep... and I had such beautiful dreams…In one of them, he was watching those who hurt me

In another, I was in a forest by a pond. It was warm and there were dragonflies all around me.  All I could hear was that rapid clicking sound that they make when they fly, but it was amplified and echoing. It was very soothing… 

I did manage to get out of the house this weekend too… went for a few walks and went to a costume dance at an old theatre last night. It was fun, especially since I haven’t danced in years.

Today I feel so energetic. The dancing and the sleep made a world of difference. My mind felt at ease and I eagerly went back to work on my knitting when I woke up.  

While I’m feeling better, it seems that OPOF is not doing so well… Judging from the song in his last post I wonder if he’s after a certain sweet someone again and, if so, I wonder if he’s doing it of his own volition…

If not, then I fear that his sanity has simply fled…

Perhaps I'm reading too much into it...

I do hope he’s alright though… he’s become important to me in this little venture of mine and I enjoy talking to him regardless