Wednesday, May 30, 2012


Been sketching but the drawings don’t come out right

Not skilled enough I guess

Been trying my best for those who are here but there is one who is closer yet too far away

Tempted and torn between debt and duty

Need to get out… just for a little while

Stirb nicht vor mir

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Didn't go as planned

I suppose I should just go ahead and tell you all what happened…

Cat had trusted me with her and Diaemus’ plans- where they were going and when- in case anything happened. I had researched their route, brought up pictures of every stop point and memorized them so I could get there as quickly as possible if anything went wrong…

As soon as we saw the comment from that bastard, Fell and I took up our weapons and departed. No time to worry about being inconspicuous. According to the emergency drill, Sammi and Diesel were waiting for us when we appeared in Antithesis. They took hold of me and held on as the apartment shifted to the platform of the train station.  We saw them… Diaemus and Tony locked in a vicious fight… Cat screaming and Leo guarding her. We went to run to their aide but Tony had brought friends… his fellow servants of the Rake who were advancing on Cat and Leo but who turned on us and attacked as soon as they realized we were there…

I heard Sammi’s gun being fired and saw one of the dogs fall

Claws of one of the rakists sliced the air in front of me as I dodged. Despite the fact that he looked ragged, homeless and beaten down, this man was swift and agile in his attack

All those fuckers were fast! Ugly and rank too. They smelled like a 5 month old bucket of ball sweat with a side of dirty asshole! 

Heh… thank you for that description Fell  

I finally managed to catch his left arm as he tried to bring his claws down on me again. I stabbed him in the armpit, then forced his arm down and slashed his neck. He hit the ground and I turned to see Fell burying her tomahawk into the back of a man’s head

Haha! I got in low and hooked behind his leg with the spike end of my axe, spun him around and chopped him

Unfortunately, one of the other dogs had seized the opportunity to attack her back and had made some ugly wounds by the time I had turned and thrown my knife, which caught him in the side. I ran forward, pulling another knife from my coat which I plunged into him.

I could hear the train approaching. 

As far as I could tell Diesel, the moose, was living up to his nickname. He had brought a baseball bat with him… I swear I could hear the crack of that thing over all the commotion. Two rakists were on the ground near him while another was dodging his swings and trying to slash at him. Sammi, on the other hand, was on her back with one of dogs on top of her. One of her arms was pinned, that hand still clinging to the gun, while the other hand was trying to prevent him from slashing at her. Fell went to help her while I pulled my knives free and moved to back Diesel up.

Fortunately, this guy was too focused on Diesel to notice me. I dropped down, avoiding Diesel’s wild swinging and hamstrung the dog.  As the dog started to fall, Diesel’s bat made contact with his head, sending him to the ground even faster.

While the Wolf was helping Diesel, I helped Sammi- not to be confused with the sister I used to have though this Sammi is also my sister but in a different family. Anyway, she was getting clawed to shit so I hit the guy in the side with my axe and knocked him on his ass! New sister Sammi rolled and popped up on her knees and shot him a whole bunch.
With the dogs put to sleep we went to help Diaemus… But we were too late… The train came roaring through… Diaemus and Tony were on the tracks

Cat was hysterical. The wall that she had backed up against looked like it was the only thing keeping her from falling faint. Leo was occupied with a now dead dog

Along with the others, I tried my best to comfort her and to get her to at least calm down enough so that I could more easily transport her home. Eventually I was able to bring everyone back to Antithesis…

I popped back to the cabin so I could grab a few things before returning to Antithesis as myself and Fell will be staying here to try to help support and take care of Cat.

Since she returned, Cat has gone silent. We put her to bed a little while ago...

We have all been trying to patch each other up as needed… Sammi seems to be in shock too, not just over Diaemus’ death but over, what I believe were her first kills today…

Diesel is clearly being eaten up inside, but he’s trying to hold it in

I don’t know where Leo went. He was gone by the time I got back from the cabin

Fell doesn’t have the same attachment we do as she didn’t really know Ryan, so she’s just been swearing over her wounds and butting in on writing this

Like Diesel, I have been trying to hold it in… Other than that I’ve been trying not to pass out… Teleporting several times, and with people in tow really took it out of me… It was a while before my nose stopped bleeding… Feels like the room is spinning  

I really need to get away from the laptop, but before I do, I have something else to say

Ryan…  You were my little brother and a trusted friend… You were… better than most of us in this family and from where I stand, you were a good husband and father who gave his life to protect that of his wife and child… May you rest in peace Diaemus. 

I will do my best to help protect Cat and Devin  

I wish I could have helped you

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Shit happened

The Wolf is gone right now. I don’t know where she went. Before she left, she asked if I wanted to make a blog post to add to what she said about me and Josh or just to talk about anything on my mind so here I am.

First, the thing with my ex:

I think it’s been, what, like a week since I killed that asshole? The days sort of blur together here.
Anyway, what a whiny little bitch he was, begging me not to kill him when he was cool with leaving me to die. Fuck him with a rabid badger.

So yeah, I’m glad he’s dead.

Second, my tomahawk:

I fucking love this thing. I just saw it and immediately imagined giving Josh a good smack with it. I thought it would be all sorts of hurt-y fun and it was <3

Ah it’s great! It’s like beating and stabbing someone to death all rolled into one :D

Third, the Wolf:

I was so happy that the Wolf approved of my weapon of choice.  
We’ve been having sparring sessions and I’m getting better. The stronger I get the more the pace is picked up but I think I’m keeping up well.
She’s helped me to get so much stronger and to get my revenge so I want to make her proud

The Wolf has been very kind to me too. It’s almost hard to believe that she’s the same person as the one who did those things to me, though I understand now why that had to happen
Oh! She says she wants to teach me how to knit too :)

Fourth, the boss

Slender Man, the demon, Ritter, Tall Man… Everyone seems to have their own titles for my new boss. What the hell, I might as well get in on the name game too. The Wolf keeps making fairy tale and nursery rhyme references- maybe I’ll call him the Tailor? What do you fuckers think?

So what can I say about him?

Haha You runners out there? Just stop. You won’t win.

I heard his voice when he showed up after I killed Josh. The Wolf calls it his song. Well folks, if that’s a song then he’s a terrible singer. I haven’t heard it since and I’m glad. The Wolf says she hears it all the time. I don’t know how she can stand it and not go nuts.  

Well that’s all I can think of to say right now, so how are you cunts doing?

Wednesday, May 9, 2012


For those of you who pay attention to the comments, you may have noticed that sweet Penelope has managed to get her hands on Sunshine

Penelope and I had a bit of a conversation on Monday evening, during which time she bragged about her failure as a torturer, since she described some of what she was doing or would do but then admitted that he wasn’t reacting to the pain

I responded the only way I could. I mocked the Hell out of her

I knew asking for mercy for him would be incredibly hypocritical and ultimately fruitless. She won’t stop… not while her hurt remains… Or her jealousy burns so bright…And as far as I know, I have nothing to bargain with… Nothing she might want, at least not enough to release him

She told me that Sunshine has been asking about me over and over and she wanted to know why since he doesn’t care about anyone
Despite some of the things he said to me, I didn’t know he actually cared about me. I just figured that I was nothing more than a curiosity to him and the sweet talk, as much as I enjoyed it, was just that…
As for why Sunshine cares about me… I think I might know… but I’m keeping it to myself for now

I guess I might as well finally come out and say it here… I care very much about Sunshine too…. Not like you couldn’t tell eh?

Heh… I wanted him to outlive me… I really had hoped he would.

I still want that

But Ritter has let me know in no uncertain terms that if I get out of line again, if I challenge his will, He will violate my mind and leave me here, unable to die, unable to leave sealed away forever.

So if I do nothing, Sunshine will die if he isn’t dead already. If I do something, if I try to save him, Sunshine will most likely still end up the same but I will have been made Ritter’s broken, undying prisoner for my trouble… but I would have tried…

Friday, May 4, 2012

Cold and sweet

You’ll remember I mentioned that dear Josh had taken to squatting. Well this evening myself and Fell paid a visit to the abandoned house that he had been using as a shelter. Oh my, was he surprised when he returned. He entered through that broken basement window, turned, saw me and tried to jump back out. I grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him back, throwing him off balance and thrusting him into the darkness of the basement.

“Hello Josh”

“What do you want?”

“What do I want?  Oh just a little chat, that’s all. Interesting living arrangement you have here, by the way… What happened? Couldn’t pay the rent on your own?”

“Please just let me go-”

“Sorry dear but I can’t do that”

“Why not? I haven’t seen your kind or that demon in over a month. Why can’t we just keep it that way?”

I laughed

“Did you start thinking it was over?”

“I- I figured maybe the demon had what it wanted- that it wasn’t interested in me”

“Had what it wanted? Oh! You mean your girlfriend, right?”


“Yes, the one you left- that was quite the break-up technique there by the way. Interesting that you haven’t asked about the poor thing… Don’t you want to know what happened to her?”


“And to think, you could have saved her”

“There was nothing I could do! You had her!”

“Two against one and you didn’t even try”

“I did what I had to, to survive! I wanted to live!”

During our conversation, Josh had been backing away from me and towards some old, half rotted stairs, most likely planning to make a desperate dash once he got close enough. Unfortunately for him, Fell had been using them as a hiding place and it was at this point that she stepped out and sank her tomahawk into his back

The look on his face was just wonderful

“So did I.”  She said as she pulled it free

Josh hit the floor. Fell circled and kicked him, forcing him to his side

“Hi sweetie… it’s been a while”

“W-who…?   Kristy?”

“Not anymore.”  She said, continuing to circle him “But I am just truly fucking touched that you recognized me with the mask and hair and all, especially since you seemed to be in such a goddamned hurry to forget me!”

She brought the tomahawk down on his leg. He screamed, then started to beg

“Stop! Don’t kill me! Oh god Kristy please- I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!”

“You brought me into this!  You brought my family into this! Then you fucked off and left me! Why should I have mercy on your stupid, selfish ass?!”

“I-I love you…”

“No, you don’t and you didn’t, but back when I was Kristy I loved you, you son of a bitch”

“You're still Kristy”

“No, my name is Fell”

And with that, she brought her axe down upon him again and again
Her rage and brutality were quite beautiful to behold. Part of me wished to join, but I knew this had to be completely her test, her choice, her revenge, her kill. Thus, I merely observed the proceedings while keeping an eye out for unwanted guests

The boy finally fell silent and myself and Fell were left looking at each other. She still gripped the tomahawk like she was ready to start swinging again. Under my mask, I smiled.

“Which path will you take now?” I asked, stepping towards her, my arms extended, inviting the swing while promising comfort.

I drew closer, she remained tense.

“The path of needles or the path of pins?”
I reached out a hand. She allowed me to take the weapon from her, then collapsed into my arms as I embraced her.

Ritter’s song intensified as he appeared in the room. Fell moved from the hug to face him. I could tell that she was hearing him now. I watched as his tendrils moved towards us. Some wrapped around Fell… I bowed my head as they lifted her up. I remembered my own rebirth as a proxy as some of his tendrils began moving around me. His song had lost the angry tone it previously carried now relating his pleasure with my work instead. I felt euphoric.

His song then began to carry new compulsions.  
Fell would stay with me and follow my commands.

I sank to my knees... Ritter returned her to me, then turned and disappeared.

I have been holding her almost constantly since we got back. I figure it’s what she needs right now and the fact that she has wrapped her arms around me in return suggests that I’m right  

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Story Time 6

 Once upon a time there lived a little girl and a little boy. The boy told the girl that he loved her and would keep her safe and the little girl believed him.

One fine day, the girl set off on an errand that took her through the woods where she was spotted by a wolf. The little girl went about her business and returned home, not knowing that the wolf had followed her.

The boy who had spoken such sweet promises now saw the wolf, gave out a cry and fled, leaving the girl to die in its jaws.

The wolf began to consume the girl, devouring her sorrow, her softness, her broken heart, leaving her a lean hardened creature, hungry for vengeance on the boy who left her. Pleased at the transformation, the wolf offered to help the girl in her revenge.

And so it was that they hunted the boy until they found and cornered him

The boy was horrified at the creature so similar to the wolf that he once knew as the little girl, began to stammer

“What big eyes you have”    

All the better to see you for the pathetic coward and liar you are”

“What big ears you have”    

“All the better to hear you scream”

“What big teeth you have”    

 She gave a wicked grin

And the wolf, Fell, upon the boy giving him the death he had left her to