Monday, July 18, 2011

Shedding Light

A few things that have been on my mind since skinny boy let me know he would go along with my little plan and they can all be boiled down into the simple question of “why?”

I’ve said that I made this blog in case I start to lose myself.  I’ve heard stories of people who have completely lost their individuality to him. They are mindless slaves who have no choice but to carry out his will. This makes me wonder why I’m not one of them. I wonder why he is bothering with my plan and allowing me to continue to work for him out of my own free will if he could just take my mind and force me to do whatever he wanted. Does it amuse him? I wonder if he has a sense of humor…

Perhaps he just regards this whole thing as an easy way to control me. He could just be stringing me along with no intention of delivering, I suppose… But for some reason, I don’t think that’s what’s happening…    On that note I wonder what he’ll do once I have my revenge… What will he have left to control me with? I’m not afraid of him like I was at first… hmm

I heavily suspect that once my goal is achieved, and he no longer has that control, he will kill me or kill me as a person. That is why I said that I don’t know how much longer I’ll be around after. Of course, there is also the possibility that he could decide to break our deal at any time.  Another thing is that my situation had caused me to seriously contemplate and almost commit suicide, so for a while I was thinking that I might not be around long because I might just kill myself…
I tell you, working for Slendy is an interesting experience… the health benefits are terrible but there is a great chance for "early retirement"  

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