Sorry, for being so quiet my dears. I have been busy. Aside from continuing my own training and my work on Carmine (which I will tell you all about in another post), I have been dealing with a rather serious issue that has been laid at my feet. I knew that there was something wrong with Roy. I had been given reason to worry, yet I was unsure as to the extent or the true nature of the issue. Roy had been dodging my questions and I had let him do so for a while, for the sake of giving him a rest. However, I would not let this go on forever, so about a week after he arrived, I sent Fell and Hart out for some sparring. Then I set out some cookies along with some tea for him and coffee for me.
“Okay Roy, it’s been a few days. I think it’s time for you to tell me what’s going on.”
He looked up from his tea, most likely realizing that he had fallen for my conversational trap
“Wolf, please, I told you before I don’t want to talk about this.”
“I know and I’ve let it go up until now, but it’s plain that something is wrong. I can see it in your eyes. Why don’t you tell me what it is?”
“I can handle it myself”
“But you are not handling it, you are avoiding it.”
“I just want a break”
“I understand that, but you can’t stay here forever. You will need to face whatever it is eventually, so if you would just talk to me, maybe I could help you, hero.”
“Stop calling me that!”
“I’m not a hero, Wolf! I couldn’t…”
He stopped and looked away
“Couldn’t what? What happened?”
He gave a bitter laugh
“Nick is dead. He was killed by a fucking Apostle. I don't even know why, and honestly I don't care why. I can't just look the other way this time. No. But I'm too weak to do anything right now, so I'll get stronger, by any means and kill the bastard who took my brother from me. Rose was opposed to this, and thought I was being naive again. She told me that I was being stupid and that what I was doing would just hurt me in the long run. She didn't trust me to make my own decisions, wouldn't support me when I needed her to most. So we split up.”
“Oh Roy, I’m sorry…”
“It’s okay. You were right. I couldn’t keep avoiding it and I can’t stay here forever. I should probably go.”
“Wait, I wasn’t telling you to leave right this minute. Besides, what will you do? Where will you go?”
“I’ll do what I was doing before”
“Collecting those items?”
“What are they?”
“I told you already. They are things that will help me to survive.”
“Yes, but what specifically are they?”
“Why does it matter so much? Isn’t it enough to know that they’ll keep me alive?”
“Will they? Because I’m not so sure, dear.”
“Well I am.”
“Okay then, let’s say that you’re right. What about other possible consequences?”
“There’s nothing for you to worry about.”
“Well if that’s the case, then why can’t you tell me?”
“Because I can’t! Jesus Wolf! Is this why you brought me here? Just so you could interrogate me about them?”
“I invited you here because I was worried about you. I did not force you here. You accepted the invitation and I have been courteous since then.”
“Yeah well I can take care of myself!”
“Heh… you’ve proven time and again that the opposite is true. Every time without fail, you go charging into the next trap. Just when I think you might be learning from your mistakes, you go and repeat them. Remember Sagari? Remember how you were so eager to trust her?
I understand that you were, and are, in a desperate situation and under those circumstances a tiny promise of hope is irresistible, but you must control yourself and think!”
That set him off
“I’m trying my best!” He yelled “What do you want from me? Do you want me to just give up all hope of fighting and become a broken killer like you? Or better yet like your little pet hollow over there? I bet that’s what this is all about. You just want to get another servant for your master!”
He stood up. I knew from the look on his face that he was about to either storm off or demand for me to bring him back out. Burning, the tendrils slid from my skin as I stood as well. His insults and ingratitude brought me to a rage, yet I kept my voice soft as I spoke:
“My dear, I’m hurt. I invite you into my home, I treat you with kindness, I stick my neck out for you time and again and you repay me with paranoid insults. If I had brought you here to make you one of us, you would be by now. Do you know- Do you have any fucking idea what I could do to you if I wanted to? If you need a refresher, I could bring you out to see what’s left of Carmine. I asked you here because I care about you; because I consider you a friend and as such I feel I am obligated to inform you that I think you are being monumentally stupid.”
My tendrils just missed Roy as I sent them forward to grab his chair. I had them pull it against him, forcing him to fall back into his seat.
“So sit the fuck back down. You ask what I want from you? I want you to think and learn from your mistakes. I want you to be able to take a step back to see the changes that are happening in you. You trusted me with your life once, hero.”
“I-I’m sorry, Wolf.” He stammered as he glanced at the tendrils hat were now poised, ready to strike. “I still do. I don’t know what came over me. I’ll tell you.” He took a deep breath
“Have you ever heard of the Holders?”
“The Holders? As in the stories about the 500 or so items of power?”
“No… Oh no…. You’re not seriously telling me-“
“Yes, they’re real and I’m collecting them”
“It’s been a little while since I’ve heard those stories, but as I recall, they all repeated the same thing: They must never be brought together.”
“But why is that Wolf? What happens when they come together though? The end of the world?”
“Maybe....but maybe not. Maybe it'll give me the power I need to avenge my brother, my family. The power to protect the few precious people I have left. This may just be me being naive, as always. Jumping at a small bit of hope in my life, only to fall for another trap. But this small hope is the only thing I have left.”
Then… his blue eyes changed; becoming cold. His voice followed the change
“And if it all ends...? Maybe that's for the best.”
Then he blinked, seemingly confused by his own words and shook his head.
I let him go as he stood back up and wandered out of the room in a haze
Let out a sigh. The tendrils slid back home. I began to pace.
I thought about it all- the possibilities, the end of everything.
Thought about the dying screams of the world. Wondered how much success he would have at finding the rest of the items if I let him go.
I turned the situation over in my head until I reached a decision
Hm... This post is getting a bit long, so I'll end this one here and tell you the rest in a second post.
In the meantime, enjoy some music. Don't look for symbols or topic relevance here. It's just a piece of music that I happen to enjoy