Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Figured I couldn’t really judge

Roy for his mission to end us all but I thought he should get up close to at least one of his victims. So not long after our conversation, I arranged that for him.

He wasn’t pleased. Don’t know why. He would be the potential killer of the world, so why would he have a problem with torturing one woman?

True, her pleas for mercy were enough to break any decent person’s heart, but I’m sure there would be many like her in that final hour.

“It’s time for your lesson, hero.”

“I-I couldn’t”

“What’s wrong, dear? You said you were interested before- amused even. You would end us all, including her, so why hold back now? I’m giving you a taste of the bloodshed to come! Why not savor it?”

“I don’t want to kill innocent people Wolf! I’m trying to protect everyone!”

“Ah yes, you want to protect people by doing something that will potentially get them all killed… but in your own words, maybe it’s for the best. If that is your idea of protection, then come on hero- protect her; kill her- save her through the pain!”
I grabbed his hand and forced him to take the knife I had been holding

“No! Why are you doing this?!”

“Doing what? Making you kill her? Heh… You were going to do that anyway. You’re a bit closer than what you had planned and the method is different, but the result is the same.”

“I won’t!”

“Won’t what? Won’t look one of the casualties of your little venture in the eyes first? I don’t understand you hero; one minute you’re ready to end the world for a chance at fighting my boss, the next minute you won’t even cut another person. You want to gamble with humanity? This is what you must do. If you cannot deal with that, then give up your search.”

At the mention of ending his search, his eyes changed again. He suddenly dropped to one knee, slamming the knife down on the prone, bound woman, striking a fatal blow. He stood back up, looked at me and lunged. I did not try to stop him. He tackled me to the ground. I laughed as he raised the knife.

He screamed as his wrist was broken. By the time I got to my feet, Fell was on top of him; her hands squeezing his throat. Conveniently, his eyes were back to normal, though filled with fear.
Made Fell ease up- let him get some air every now and then so he could talk.


"You were going to kill me”

“…Didn’t want to…”

“I know”


“You accused me of wanting you to become a hollow, well it looks to me like you’re well on your way there without my help. Look at you hero, you are losing control and slipping away. If you keep going, you will lose everything and we all will pay the price. I don’t want to kill you but I have run out of time for your foolishness.”

I ordered Fell to let him go, which she did after some hesitation

“Time to choose which path you will take, hero. Choose now and choose wisely”
Roy slowly stood up but did not meet my gaze. He looked down at the ground as he spoke.

"I told you before to stop calling me a damn hero. You've explained before that you call me a hero because I've 'seen the ugliness- the malice or desperation in those marked by the Fears one way or another' and yet...I still try to rise above it. But honestly I'm sick of it. I'm not a fucking hero, and I was never a fucking hero."  

He gestured to the dead woman with his good hand before returning it to nurse his broken wrist

"Does a hero kill an innocent?” His voice shook “Does a hero let everyone around him die because he's too weak to stop it? Does a hero risk the whole god damn world because of a small hope, a small chance that everything will work out in the end? No, I don't deserve that name. I never deserved that name."

He kept his eyes locked on the ground, trying to hide his tears.

"I've let my naivety get the better of me time and time again, and the people around me always end up paying for it. Maybe...maybe it would be better I just died here. I don't want to collect the objects anymore but....you're right. I'm losing it, and I realize that. So maybe it would be for the best if you just killed me now." He finally looked me in the eye "Before my mistakes can hurt anyone else."

I looked away; considering the situation and trying to find the right words. I turned back to him with a smile.

“Suppose that would be the safest bet” I said, moving closer to him. To his credit, he stayed still, though his eyes betrayed all. I placed a hand on his cheek, wiping away a tear. “I could snuff you out right now- it would be easy. No more fighting, no more mistakes, no hard lessons. If that’s what you want, then close your eyes, dear. I’ll make this quick.”

He took in a breath and shut his eyes.

I withdrew my hand, then slammed it back into his face; the punch knocking him to the ground

Fell laughed

Roy sat up and looked up at me; his expression was a mix of confusion and anger

“That was for being stupid and cowardly. I’m not going to kill you, hero.”

“Why not? I tried to kill you.”

“Well you did a poor job of it, so now you have to live with the consequences.” I said with a laugh.

“This isn’t fucking funny!”

I sighed

“Alright, listen- What you tried to do to me, and what you did do to her- you weren’t in control. Whatever power is behind those objects had manipulated you and taken over. I told you before that by letting your desperation overtake your reason, you were making the same mistakes that you made with Sagari. Your heart was in the right place but your mind was left in the dust. Thus you were manipulated twice. If you want to stop hurting others with your mistakes, then you need to be willing to learn from them and you can’t do that if you’re dead.”

“But I’m tired Wolf. I’ve tried my best and failed. I can’t fight and when I try, I make things worse. I can’t do this anymore.”

“Such is the way, my dear. Most who get involved- whether runner or servant- will try to accomplish their little goals only to tire, die and end up forgotten. But they keep going until the bitter end.”

“What’s the point?”

“That’s for you to decide. Personally, I stick around to take care of those close to me as best I can and to enjoy what this life has to offer until my story reaches its end. Insignificant in the grand scheme of things and in a few years no one will remember me or care to, but it’s what I choose to do with my time here.”

“I tried to protect everyone, but I kept screwing it up.”

“Then you must learn and adapt to be better help.”

“God damn it, you’re a murderer! You killed lots of innocent people, so why are you being so stubborn about killing me? Don’t I deserve it?”

“Heh… Out of the two of us, I’m the one more deserving of death. As for why I don’t kill you; maybe it’s because you are a friend. Maybe it’s because I’m a monster and thus I refuse to let you go that easily. Besides, if I was just going to kill you, I wouldn’t have bothered trying to talk to you about those objects- you would be dead, hero.”

“I’m not-”    

“You are to me. Besides, if you had truly retired your white hat, then you would not care about a random woman like her or an old monster like me. But if you really want to walk away from the hero business, you could always join the family!”

“I can’t. I can’t be a servant but I-”

He broke off as new tears flowed. I knelt next to him on the ground and offered him a hug, which he accepted. I listened while he spoke the rest of his concerns. When he was ready, we got his wrist taken care of.

Since then, I have been trying to help him overcome the power that has been influencing his mind. When he leaves here, he will have to make the decision to rid himself of that which he has collected, or keep it with him to try to keep it away from others while attempting to resist its control.


  1. Items to end the world huh? Maybe...

    Also, hi Knitty, glad to see your back and breathing, kind of missed you, The Game has been going quiet for a while now, we needed some faces to start popping back out.

    As for the items, The Master of The Board did mention something about those items, but my attention span is rather short. Maybe...

    Once I'm done with my hiatus, once I'll deal with all the loose ends before going on a hiatus, once I come back, I'll research them.

    Again, glad to have you back.

    1. Ah, so those items captured your interest eh? Why am I not surprised?

      If you do decide to go after them, just be sure the power behind them doesn't end up controlling you like it did Roy

      Aww, you missed me? Well that just warms my heart. Thank you dear

    2. Kelevra. Bad dog. No destroying worlds. We do that outside. Bad bad dog.

    3. Ain't nothing can control me, the Little Brat is proof of that.

      Of course I missed you, you're like one of my favorite game pieces on this board.

    4. Heh... Good good.

      You flatter me, Calavera. May I ask why you consider me among your favorites? I'm not fishing for compliments. I'm genuinely curious.

    5. You have this artistic side of you, you approach everything your about to kill, with an artistic approach. The way you torture them, the way you work, as if a musician pulling the correct strings on a violin, creating beautiful music.

      I've seen how you work, the place where I was allows me to take a look at most game pieces on the board. I was fortunate enough to take a peek when you were "working" and I tell you, if my hear didn't belong to my darling, I think I could actually genuinely fall for you.

    6. Hey! Don't get any fucking ideas! The Wolf has enough dipshit men getting involved and fucking things up! She doesn't want or need a pervy necrophiliac asshole like you

    7. Oh Fell, there is no need to get upset. As he said, his heart belongs to Fortissimo. Even if that wasn't the case, I assure you he wouldn't be "getting involved" like that. I love you. Come on, we'll head out for some fun later- go to that museum and have a nice meal after.

      Calavera, I am absolutely honored that you would compare what I do to a musician creating beautiful music.

      Hehe it is nice to feel appreciated.

      On that note, I must say, I do like the way your mind works- and no, I'm not just saying that because you compliment my work or because I'm trying to be an ass kisser I simply find your perspectives to be fascinating, hence why I was interested enough to question you on your ideas about the illusion of choice. Your mind is unique and I bet your brain is tasty hahaha

    8. One, you always did have a dirty mouth, at first it was charming, but now, I think you require a good ol' fashioned mouth wash.

      Two, I already have my darling so calm your tits.

    9. ^
      That was addressed to Fell if what, thanks for the compliments though, makes me really happy that someone appreciates and can see the beauty of how my ind works.

      Hope at some point, I will get the chance to meet with you, since I'm slowly running out of time.

    10. Aww, I want to join in on compliments n shit.

      Kelevra, of all the natural destructive forces of the land - hurricanes, storms, avalanches, volcanoes, earthquakes - you are decidedly my favourite.

      And Wolf, you are an artist, I used to do ballet and I would certainly dance to the symphony of you torturing Carmine. Seriously, if I could travel right now I'd do a performance for you while you torture him. Hmm... I would glissade to his crying. Would mostly be improvised. I often wondered about doing the same for Kelevra but I figured ballet would make him bored.

    11. Running out of time Calavera? Aren't we all.
      Wouldn't mind meeting you either.


      There's my email if you decide you want to pay me a visit and would like to do me the courtesy of contacting me beforehand

      If not, then I will see you when and if you show up

      Aw thank you Sanna. I would love to see you dance to the sounds of Carmine's torment. That sounds adorable.

      By the way, do stop blaming yourself for things which you really don't need to be.
      Also, figure I'll mention now that I think you are a lot tougher than you give yourself credit for

  2. Wow good job pretending to care but I guess you had plenty of practice with Fell

    1. Wow good job pretending like you know shit about me and Wolf, you stupid fucking ass goblin. Why the fuck aren't you dead yet?

    2. Seems a little lamb is straying from the fold yet again. She may not be dead yet Fell, but she seems to dearly wish to change that.

      And pretending to care, little lamb? Against my better judgement I must ask you to explain.

    3. I'm not dead because the last time the devil tried to get us he got burned,dumb ass and if you try anything your going to get burned too

      Your pretending to care about Roy and about Fell. Your just messing with Roy's head because your afraid to die and because you want to corrupt him more so that even if he won't serve Satan, he won't fight him either. Your pretendign to care about Fell because you brainwashed her. You can't care about anyone.

    4. Am I afraid to die? No. There are things that I fear, but my death is not one of them. Are you? Are you afraid to die, little lamb? I suppose not, else you would not keep coming back here, especially after what I said to you last time. Do you remember that, dear? Or maybe you're only this brave because you think your safe in your little haven?

      If I did not care about Roy, he would not be alive. I do not lie when I call him friend. As for Fell... I know what I've done to her in the past. I can't take it back. What I can do is try my best to take care of her and make sure that she has as much happiness as one can in these circumstances. I know how she feels about me. I know that, over time, I have come to feel the same way about her. If you bothered to actually read what I have written on this blog instead of making assumptions, you would see that. You would also see that the thought of losing her was enough to bring me back from the hollowed state I was in.

    5. Laura, fuck off with the tough talk, you're a scared little girl who isn't fooling anyone, you piss licking shit knuckle.

  3. Your trying to make me paranoid but its not working. Even if you found our home, you can't get in and even if you did get in you would get killed. I'm not scared to die and I'm not scared of you!
    Fell your a asshole

    1. What are you going to come after me? Like I care! If you somehow get in I'l kill you. I might die but I'll kill you too

    2. Okay, alright little lamb. I tried warning you away but you persisted so you got me. I'm not going to kill you. You are not worthy of my time. Your flock is safe from me right now. You have what you want.

    3. Oh tsk tsk Laura you called me an asshole. Is that any way for a bible fucker like you to behave?
      You high holy Jesus fister. You crucifix wanking nun cunt kisser

    4. Your a disgusting shithead

    5. And you're a stupid toddler

    6. I'm not a toddler, I'm almost 15 years old!
      Your calling me stupid when your the one who serves the devil and who fell in love with the psycho who tortured you ans was already in love with another psycho

    7. That old and still this stupid. Fucking amazing.