Sunday, February 19, 2012

Knitting Curious

Cat and I had a nice long stitch ‘n bitch today. She made some tea for both of us then we sat down to our projects. She was working on a scarf where as I focused on my latest doll... until Dairam decided to “help”, that is. Then I ended up working on a little toy mouse for him instead hehe. 

I sipped the tea. It was a lovely green tea blend… very soothing. I let out a contented sigh as I felt myself relax. Cat seemed to notice the shift. She smiled and said that it was good that I was finally getting some time to relax and heal. I told her I was grateful for hers and Ryan’s hospitality, that it was making me feel much better. She said that she was glad they could help. While we were on the subject of helping, I asked how she was feeling about everything right now. She told me of her thoughts and concerns about being a mother and about the baby. She spoke again of how she didn’t want to end up like her mother. I reassured her that I knew she’d do just fine, just as I knew Ryan would be a good father.

At this, Ryan peeked into the room laughingly asking if we were talking about him. Cat was about to banish him from the “girl time in progress” but I suggested that we not be sexist and offered to teach him to knit. I admit I was surprised, yet pleased when he accepted the offer. He took a seat between us. I rifled through my knitting supplies to find a pair of single point needles and some extra yarn for him to use. It took a few attempts of Cat and I showing him how to cast on for him to be able to do the same, but he did it. I think the limited dexterity in his right hand was giving him some trouble, but he managed. Then we moved on to show him how to do a basic knit stitch. Again it took him a few tries but he eventually got the idea. His stitches were messy but I told him that would improve with time and practice.  

While Ryan was focused on the knitting, I got a few more glimpses at his scars… I told myself that I shouldn’t- that it would be terribly rude, but the curiosity that I had been feeling since I met him in the park finally got the better of me.

“Ryan…” I said
“I’m really not trying to upset you with this, but may I see your face?”
He looked taken aback by this and so did Cat. I was about to apologize for my poor manners when he obliged. I was awestruck at the unique colors and shapes that played, twisted and turned through his skin where there used to be an eye    
“It is beautiful”
He looked shocked
“Please understand” I continued, “To me, scars like that stand as a testament to your strength. They are a sign that you have overcome much”
At this, Ryan looked pensive, looking at the scars on my hands and arms. 
Cat, on the other hand,  looked sad.
I knew I fucked up. I hadn’t meant to upset her. Mentally cursing myself for my rudeness, I said,
“Cat, I’m sorry, I know how you feel about this, but the way I see it, the scars that really mattered- the ones inside-have healed. I can see it in how happy he is around you; how happy he is to be with you”
“She’s right” He said, putting an arm around her “I’m okay as long as I have you.”
She seemed to brighten up a little at this.

We decided to move on to more cheerful topics after that.    

I still feel like an ass for my lack of manners 

No comments:

Post a Comment