Wednesday, January 18, 2012


Sorry for the abrupt end to the last post but I felt someone outside so I figured I should check it out fast. I put on my mask, took up one of my knives and made my way to the door. I didn’t bother with the branch I had previously used for support as I didn’t want to appear weak. I knew it was another proxy, but I could not yet be sure of their intent, so I decided to exercise caution. I looked out to see a man clad in black robes emerging like a ghost from the dead end path.

As he drew nearer, I called out a greeting and asked who he was. “Hello Sister” was his response. Two piercing, cold, blue eyes met my gaze from under the hood of his robes. I asked him again, who he was.  Now face to face, he responded “Father has sent me to assist you”. Then, in a series of swift movements he disarmed me and knocked me to the ground. A solid kick to my gut kept me there. It was embarrassing how easily he brought me down; my weakened state fully revealed. He continued, “You carry doubt in your heart, Sister. I am to purge you of it.”
At this, I realized who he was and as soon as I caught my breath, I began to laugh 
“How nice of you to finally come see me, Angel! And you’re every bit the gentle guide I thought you’d be!”
Saint rewarded my irreverence with another kick, then hauled me into the cabin, and forced me into a chair.   

“Look, before you continue beating the shit out of me, can we just talk like two civilized killers for a second?”

“I only did what was necessary to disarm you and to encourage respect”

“Right… well… not that I don’t appreciate the company, but I would like to know why Ritter sent you when I already accepted responsibility for carrying out his orders”

“Father knows the doubt in your heart. He wishes you to be free of it so that you may be at your best for him.”

As I’ve said before, Ritter’s song has been in my mind constantly since he took me. At this point, it began to carry the suggestion to trust Saint.

I wondered why Ritter was so concerned about my doubts when I was still doing what he asked. And why didn't he just “fix” my mind to his liking if they were so worrisome when he had no trouble taking control before?  I supposed I should be happy that he didn't, but it still piqued my curiosity.  I knew I was too weakened to fight my way out and Ritter’s song was sedating me again. I could only sit and listen as Saint explained that we should have no doubts about our orders and that we should embrace our duties for we serve a higher purpose. Those who hurt me only served their own pathetic designs, we serve Ritter’s glory.

Saint has continued to lecture me on those subjects since then. Even though he allows me to eat and to take care of myself in terms of sleep or cleanliness, I have not been truly allowed a moment of peace or privacy. I don’t know if he has slept since he got here, despite my offering of the other bedroom. If feels like he is always at my side, always watching, always speaking of what I must do, occasionally beating, cutting or… otherwise hurting me to drive his point home.  He is watching me as I type this now. I haven’t asked for mercy, nor will I. I know it will not come and I know it is not deserved. Through tears of pain, I have sworn not to fear whatever must happen to me.  


  1. Okay, "cultural differences" or not, "terrible person" or not, I can not approve of that.

    Saint huh? ...I'll remember that name.

    1. Mouse...

      I appreciate your concern... but I must ask why this bothers you, considering what I've happily done to others before and what I will do when I carry out my orders.

      As much as it hurts, I know Saint is just doing his job and I don't expect him to hold back and possibly put himself in harm's way just because of my personal problems. I'd be a hypocrite and a fool if I did.
      I will endure.

      On another note, I just wanted to say that I've been thinking about your situation dear and I do hope you'll be alright. If there is anything I can do to help just let me know

  2. Wow apparently I missed quite a bit.

    Knit I'm not sure what's been going on but I agree with Gargoyle, that's no good. I hope you're out of Saint's hands soon.

    Wishing you well.


    1. Thanks for the well wishes Sir Robin.
      It's okay...
      I think things will be alright now...