Friday, December 30, 2011


Sorry about that last post, loves. I just needed to do something to level myself out.
So I carved an operator symbol onto my chest using the knife of the man who killed me. I incorporated the scar from the stab wound into the design.

Also made some cuts on my arms and legs, then took some of my sewing needles, threaded them and shoved them under my skin… Made a pretty stitch pattern

When I was done, I lay on the floor looking up at Ritter for a while. He seemed pleased with this little display. I asked him if he would ever let me leave here. He still won’t answer that one.

It’s alright… You know, I’m not even angry at him for doing this to me. He’s just acting according to his nature. I don’t think of him as a monster any more than I would a shark if it bit me. Yeah… the way I figure it, people like me are the real monsters. We know what the human condition is yet we go on hurting others, enjoying it. I don’t think he knows, or if he does, then it’s in the same way that a scientist might know the experiences of a lab animal but continues testing because of the benefits. I can’t judge him according to any human concept of morality because, like a lab animal looking at the scientist, he is beyond my understanding.

I’m not sure where I was going with that… Just some rambling thoughts to keep my mind occupied. I’m still starving but overall I do feel much better since I did that bit of cutting... Been a while since I’ve done that… it felt almost nostalgic

Oh, and because I wasn’t in the proper frame of mind to say this before, merry Christmas and happy new year.

Heh... I suppose I should be grateful to Ritter… At least I wasn’t alone on Christmas hahaha

If I’m still alive next winter, I am totally going to knit him a festive sweater


  1. I'm glad to see you're all leveled out, StoryWeaver, I've been missing you. I liked your analogy about him being a scientist, too, we really are just rats to him, things to toy with and experiment on, each in our own little Cage so none of us can see the whole picture. I'm not to sure about the sweater, though,remember what happened when you tried to give him candy, heh. Don't worry too much, I'm sure you'll be out of there and stabbing people in no time, and I'm looking forward to it.

    See you around
    - FreedomCaged

  2. I had a feeling that was what you were doing... I'm not particularly happy about that. I'm disappointed in you for it really.

    I hope the Construct lets you go soon... I'd much rather hear of you cutting other people than cutting yourself.

  3. Om- Ha! If there is one thing I've got that I intend to hold onto no matter the consequence, it's my sense of humor. Maybe you're right about the sweater though... Do you think a scarf would go over better? Or maybe a cap and mittens set?

    Thanks dear, I hope you're right. Glad you liked the analogy too.

    Mouse- I'm sorry to disappoint you love, but to me, sacrificing a small bit of my body in order to preserve my mind was worth it. Now that I'm leveled out, now that the addiction has been fed, I won't need to again for a while. I don't know why you care so much about me over others but thank you.

  4. I care about everyone... for the most part.
    I guess if that's what you needed then... okay. I'm still not cool with it though. I had a friend who used to cut herself and... I just really don't like seeing people do such things.

    Take care.

  5. Again, thank you Mouse
    and I'm sorry about your friend

    You be sure to take care of yourself too, especially with that storm you've stirred up.

  6. From a bystander that enjoys knitting nearly as much as you do, I'm holding you to your resolution of knitting him a Christmas sweater.

    Hopefully you'll be out and about again soon before you need to level yourself off again. Best of luck.

  7. Heh I'll try not to disappoint you.
    Always good to hear from a fellow knitter

    And thank you

    By the way... I've only just begun to read your blog, so I apologize if this has already been answered somewhere or if it comes off as rude or too assuming as I really don't intend it this way but have you ever heard of Louis Wain?

  8. Oh, I don't knit nearly as well as you do, but scarves are fun to personalize for people. I admire your talent with toys, they're adorable.

    And, quite welcome.

    I do apologize for the first month or so of my blog if you end up reading that far back-- I was a bit of a prick (still kind of am). And yes, I have heard of him, and I don't find it rude at all! XD You'll see that I'm pretty chill about the whole "certifiably insane" title, any way.

  9. The operator symbol must look beautiful on you, I wish I could see it carved into your flesh. Alas, look me up when you leave your tormented little prison. I'll be waiting, my Wolfie.

  10. Lucia - I'm blushing. Thank you
    I've just gotten caught up with your blog. I think you're behavior at the start was understandable given the circumstances. I'm glad you were not offended. I do try my best to keep good manners but sometimes my curiosity runs away with me hehe

    Brightsky- Heh thanks love. I'm quite pleased with it myself. I will gladly show it to you, should we meet again- which I certainly wouldn't mind

  11. Looking forward to it, let's make it a date. Hopefully you won't be in an... artistic mood that day.

  12. Sounds lovely dear
    Will you show me some of your scars when that day comes?

  13. Of course, beautiful. You're... indirectly responsible for some of them. ;)