Nightmare

My eyes shot open when she touched my hair. There was that fucking stitched mask looming over me in the darkness of the room. Terrified, I tried to scramble away, but she forced me back down. I looked for Josh, expecting him to help, only to see the fucking piece of shit disappearing through the door. She grabbed my wrists and climbed on top of me pinning me to the bed.

My body started changing as she held me in place until it looked… like it does now. Scars appeared all over me while my eye and tongue fucking dissolved. At the same time the Wolf’s mask fused with her fucking skin, becoming her face. I could feel her stomach opening against mine.

“Get the fuck off of me!” I yelled, struggling to get free.   

“Or what? You’ll kill me?” she laughed “You’re not even strong enough to wriggle out of my grasp.”

Her teeth scraped my skin

“What could you ever do against me? What could you do, but be my prey again?” 

“Fuck y-” was all I got out before her maw bit into my stomach.   

Screaming, I woke up to find myself alone in my car. After driving for so long, I had pulled onto the shoulder of the road and passed the fuck out. I tried to wipe away my tears, but they wouldn’t fucking stop. Eventually, I managed to take a deep breath and calm down enough to get back on the road.

 

Underestimated

Well, I just had a hell of a night.

It started when Wolf came back from another hunt, dragging a screaming, struggling woman with her. After what happened last time, I decided to leave so I wouldn’t be tempted again.

Stepping out of our domain and into a small town, I started walking. I wandered aimlessly for a while as I tried to think of something to do to kill time. Reaching the tree-lined outskirts, I got an idea. I walked a little way into the woods before extending my arms up to grab a branch. Pulling myself upward and climbing onto it, I chose another tree and leapt. Extending my arms again, I grabbed onto the new branch and swung to the next.

I kept going, having fun swinging from tree to tree, testing my abilities, until I caught a scent. Letting go of the branch, I landed on the ground and began to look for the source. It was familiar, similar to dead leaves and yet distinct and strong enough to cut through the scent of the other trees. That’s when it hit me- our old boss.

I wasn’t too surprised, since I was kind of in his territory, but then I realized it was coming from several spots around me. Suddenly, someone came bursting out of the trees behind me. I instinctively struck out with a tendril. Taking a quick glance back, I saw that it was embedded in the guy’s stomach. Using it like a hook, I lifted him up only to slam him into another proxy as they emerged from the trees in front of me. More of them came out of hiding to take their shots. One of them swung a hatchet only for me to catch their arm and break it before shoving them into the path of a machete. The one wielding the machete pulled it free from his friend but wasn’t able to do much else before I wrapped my elongated hand around his head and snapped his neck. Hearing another one running up behind me. I extended my leg back, sending my foot hurtling into him. I twisted around on the foot I had planted on the ground, my threads letting me spin in a way that would be impossible for a normal person. I raked my clawed foot across another one’s gut, tearing it open.

By this point, you might be wondering why I didn’t just burn them all or try to escape. Well, for one thing, the air was now thick with the overwhelming, intoxicating scent of blood. It made the hunger even more intense, and I wasn’t exactly feeling sympathetic anyway since they were trying to kill me. Besides, it was clear from their lack of reaction that they were hollows- empty puppets for our old boss. The people that they once were, were already gone.

For another thing, I was hoping that fighting this way might make the tall guy feel safe enough to make an appearance. It was a long shot, but I wondered if he might not know the extent of my abilities. Maybe he wasn’t sure if I could do everything Wolf could. Maybe he just assumed I was still the weak link. Why else would he fling mindless hollows after me like this? If he knew what I could do, then he would know that I could roast them all in seconds if I wanted to, which would make this attack pointless.

Whether I was right or not, in the end I got my wish.

He appeared a few feet away from me, ready to impale me with his tentacles. I wonder what went through his faceless head when I fucking fried them. He disappeared as his body started to burn, saving himself from taking more serious damage. I didn’t think he was going to just sit there and let me kill him, but that wasn’t the point. Do you know what it’s like to hold a knife to the throat of something like that? To make one of the fucking Fears run? God that felt good, especially after all the shit he’s put me and so many others through. I hope it hurt.

With him gone, I decided to make my exit. I used a tendril to knock one of the remaining hollows out of the way before opening a doorway to our world and launching myself through it. Wolf was finished with her captive by the time I got back, not that it mattered anymore since the fight had taken care of my hunger. Funny how that worked out.           

Music, Ink and Flesh

The hunger had been gnawing at me for a while, but I had, of course, been occupied with more urgent things. If you read Hart’s last post, however, you know that I finally took the opportunity to go hunting again.

Spotted my victim as he left a convenience store parking lot, likely planning on walking home. I followed him for a while, slowly closing the distance between us. It was late at night and the streets were empty, leaving only the sound of our footsteps in the snow. Eventually he noticed the noise and glanced back at me. I sprang forward, extending my limbs to run on all fours. He dropped the bag he had been carrying in shock as he backed up before turning to run. I leapt, knocking him into the, now unraveling space before us. He hit the ground hard, and I gave him no chance to recover. Dragged him to the carved post before hoisting him by his wrists and binding them to the hook at the top. Forming claws, I ripped his coat and shirt from him, leaving his flesh exposed.

“Oh God!” he cried, finally snapping out of his stunned state. “Oh God, what the fuck are you?!”

“What am I?” I smiled, considering the question as I circled around him. “An aberration. An amalgamation. The unintended fusion of a murderous human and a gluttonous interdimensional being. A monster.” I came to a stop in front of him, looking into his eyes. “And the one who will bring your life to a very painful end.”

“But why?!” He sputtered. “What did I do?”

“Nothing that I’m aware of. You simply had the extreme misfortune of crossing my path.”

I stepped closer to him.

“W-wait-” he started before I cut him off.

“Now, now, I answered your questions. It’s your turn to answer mine.” Moving to his side, I gently turned his body as much as the restraints would allow so I could peek at his back. “Ah, I thought I saw a tattoo there! Why don’t you tell me about that?”

“What?” he blurted, clearly not expecting the question “It’s an abstract treble clef with string wings.”

“I can see that, dear” I said, letting go of his side and stepping in front of him again. “But what I want to know is the story behind it. Are you a musician? A music lover?”

“Both” he replied, “I play the violin and the tattoo represents how it makes me feel.”

“And how does it make you feel?” I asked.

“Free” he said, letting out a small, pained laugh, likely because his current situation was anything but that. “Especially when I compose my own pieces.”

“It sounds like you’re quite passionate about it” I said. “Would it be correct to say that it’s a driving force in your life? Something you need?”

“Y-yeah”

“Excellent” I said, very pleased with his answers. “I can certainly relate, as I’m an artist, myself, although my mediums of choice are different. Flesh and bone and blood are what I like to work with. Cutting, breaking, stitching, twisting it as I please- creating agony. I hunger for it, needing it as you need your music.”

He had been trembling before, but he began to shake even harder as I spoke.

“But my music doesn’t hurt anyone…” he weakly offered.

“Well, my art does, and tonight, your body will be the canvas.”

He stared at me in horrified silence for a moment, but found his voice again when I reached for his face.

“Wait! Please!” He cried in desperation “I don’t want to die!”

“Heh… you might by the time I’m done.” I said “Regardless, I’m not going to spare you, so you might as well save your breath.”

“Well…” His voice broke for a moment “Well… if you’re going to kill me, then could you at least do it quick and do the… cutting and breaking after?”

I giggled at the request before grabbing his face.

“Oh, my poor dear, I’m sorry, but your suffering is part of the process,” I said as a thin tendril slipped out of one of my fingers. “Now… Let’s take care of your mouth first.”

Using the tendril as both needle and thread, I swiftly stitched it closed.

“There, that’s better” I said, releasing his face from my grasp.

Decided that, since music was such an important part of his life, it should be part of his death too. Figured that since he was a violinist, he would probably like the classical variety, so I pulled up a collection of it on my phone. My power over this domain allowed me to alter and amplify the sound, making it seem like it was coming from all around us, with perfect clarity. I swayed in time with it for a few moments, and then began to dance.

As Hart described, I allowed my body to contort with the music in a way that no human could, sticking out a claw every now and then to slice at him. His mouth may have been sewn shut, but this didn’t stop him from trying to scream anyway. I relished in his muffled cries while breathing in the scent of his blood. Ah, it had been too long.

Eventually, I drew in close to him, dug my claws into his chest before dragging them downward, leaving red furrows behind. He shook his head in pain as tears flowed from his eyes. My stitches gave way so I could extend my tongue to lick them up, tasting his fear. Clamped a hand around his throat so I could feel his pulse pounding under my fingers as I bit into his cheek. Pulling back, I tore a strip of flesh from him, savoring it as he struggled in my grasp.

I let go of his throat and freed him from the post. He tried to pull away but I held his arms tight in my hands. I began to dance again, forcing him to move with me. Unfortunately for him, he couldn’t quite keep up, so when my arms twisted, his broke, when mine extended, his came apart entirely. He fell to the ground, hyperventilating and writhing in agony. Tendrils slid out of my stomach, seizing his destroyed limbs and pulling them in. His eyes rolled back as blood gushed from his stumps. I danced around him in a circle, finally coming to a stop by his head. Kneeling down, I thanked him for the conversation and the dance before drawing a claw across his throat like a bow across the strings of a violin. I licked some of his blood from my fingers as I watched him die, then sent my tendrils out once more to pull his head into my maw.

Originally, I had intended to keep him alive and miserable for much longer, but I had truly enjoyed the conversation, so as a show of gratitude, I ended things early. Tore off his legs and consumed them, then propped what was left of him up against the post. Figured that, since I didn’t keep him as a living art project, I would make him into another sort before I finished my meal. I haven't drawn anything in quite some time, but I’m pleased with the result.

 

 

Ah, I really needed that.

The Hunger

I woke up to the scent of blood. Getting up, I went out to the living room to see what was going on. Wolf must have gone hunting, because when I looked out the window, I saw that she wasn’t alone. A shirtless man was bound by his wrists and dangling from hook of the carved post.

She was in front of him, dancing while classical music played from… somewhere. It sounded like it was all around us. Her movements were wild, extending her limbs to leap and twist in ways a normal person couldn’t. Dude already had a few cuts on his chest and stomach, and as Wolf twirled, she stuck out a claw to add another. He probably would have been screaming, but his mouth was sewn shut. 

I’ve never enjoyed torturing people (except for Carmine, but that piece of shit deserved everything he got). I took part in it when Wolf wanted me to, of course, but I never got anything out of it like she and Fell did. In that moment though, as I watched her violent dance, I felt the hunger.

She suddenly moved closer to the guy and, with one hand, began to slowly drag her claws down his chest. I could practically taste his blood as I watched it spill. I imagined the sensation of biting into him and indulging every fucking one of my senses with his pain. Despite that, I forced myself to turn away. Looking down, I saw that my own hands were bleeding. I had apparently formed claws without realizing it and dug them into my palms. Needing some kind of relief, I licked my blood off them as the little cuts sealed themselves up.

I lit the wood stove to cover the scent of blood with the smell of smoke. Then I went back to the window and, without looking out again, closed the curtains. That, along with the taste of my own blood wasn’t enough to satisfy the hunger but it took the edge off so I could bear it until Wolf was done feeding hers. 

In Training

I’ve been busy since my last post, trying to learn how to use my new abilities. Summoning things into existence somehow came naturally to me. I even managed to create a doorway back to the human world on my first attempt but learning to open my seams and extend my limbs was more of a challenge.

“Are you afraid it’s going to hurt?” Wolf asked, after another failed attempt at extending my arm.

“Maybe?” I responded. I’ve taken plenty of pain over the years but that doesn’t mean that I like it, and it’s different when it’s self-inflicted. “I just keep thinking about how it felt when my finger was cut off.”

“That’s the problem, you’re thinking about it too much,” she said. “You aren’t cutting anything off, you are simply moving a limb within its new natural limitations. At most it will ache in the same sense that exercising when you’re out of shape does.”  

“I’ll try again…” I muttered.

“Before you do, can I see your phone for a second?” she asked

“Why?”

“I just want to try something”

“Okay..?” I handed it over

“Thank you” she said, before throwing it.

“HEY!” I yelled, as I reached for it. The phone didn’t hit the ground.

I fell to my knees in shock, staring at my arm. It had come away from my body and was separated in segments, supported by thick clumps of “threads”.     

“Good catch” Wolf said. “Are you alright?”

“Y-yeah” I stammered. My arm ached, but it was nothing like what I was expecting “I think so.”

“I’m sorry,” she said, “but I figured that making you act on instinct would be the best way to get around your fear.”

“You bitch!” I said with a laugh, getting over the shock.

“Yeah, but I was right, wasn’t I?” she said with a laugh of her own. “Now let’s see you make your other arm match that one.”

I did as she asked. This time, my arm came away without a problem, stretching out just as the other had. Without her prompting, I tried to do the same with my legs, extending them enough to let me balance comfortably on all fours. Leaving my phone on the ground, I took my first steps in this state. I was shaky at first, but soon enough I was walking, then running- moving faster than I ever had before. Suddenly Wolf was by my side, running with me. I laughed as we raced around the island.

The first time using my stomach mouth and tendrils was a bit easier. Wolf told me to fast for a day so that I’d be good and hungry. After I did that, she cooked a steak and set it on the table in front of me. I could feel the teeth moving under my skin as my stomach growled. I let the seam go and felt my maw open up. God that was weird. The sensation only got weirder as I focused on sending a tendril out of it to pierce the meat before dragging it in. Imagine the feeling of chewing and tasting but in a completely different part of your body than it should be. I don’t know if I’m ever going to be able to get used to that.

I’ve also been learning how to fight using my new body- forming claws, sending out tendrils, extending my limbs to move faster and give my punches and kicks more power, etc. I need to be comfortable with my abilities, and Wolf is making sure that I get plenty of practice.

Happy New Year

I made my decision. I actually did that a couple of weeks ago, but I thought it would be appropriate to wait until the new year to go through with it. On New Year’s Eve, I asked Wolf if we could visit our old home so I could see it one last time as a human. She said yes, and a few minutes later, we were walking through familiar neighborhoods. Thankfully, no one decided to crash the party while we were out, so I was able to take the time to think about things in peace. Knowing that this was my last chance to back out of my decision, I thought about my life, over all the shit I had gone through to get here and how much I had changed. I was already so far removed from the kid who left his dad’s house and never looked back, so why not go a little further? I had been hesitating, but my reasons boiled down to fear and self doubt, and if I had let that stop me in the past, I would have died, so why should I give into it now?

With that line of thought, I looked up at the fireworks that had started erupting above us and felt satisfied.  

The next morning, I sat at the table, staring at the “meat” Wolf had cut from that thing. It looked like a disgusting blob of veins and jelly and didn’t taste any better. I had to cut it into tiny bits just so I could get it down without having to chew because the texture made me gag.

That’s how it was at first anyway. After a few pieces, it started to taste better. After a few more, my stomach started growling. The texture stopped bothering me too, though that was probably because I was going numb all over. Blood started dripping onto the table, which I realized was coming from my mouth. I spat out a glob of it along with some of my teeth and kept eating. All I could think about was how hungry I was. My vision started to go blurry and the next thing I remember was waking up on the bloodstained floor surrounded by the shreds of my clothes. 

Everything looked so bright. I rolled to my stomach and pushed myself up, shocked to see that I had all my fingers again. My pinky had grown back attached by seams to my hand, as all my other fingers were. There were seams all over my body at every joint, like Wolf’s, except that they were thin, with tiny light stitches. I’m not sure you’d notice them unless you were up close. Raising a hand to my face, I felt the seams at the corners of my mouth, but not across my lips the way that hers are. I stood up, planting a hand on the table to steady myself, feeling my lost teeth under my fingers. Moving my tongue, I felt the inhumanly sharp new ones that had taken their place. I started staggering towards the door, but a weird sensation made me stop. I could feel something hot in my gut and something else was moving under my skin. Pulling up my shirt (my body had apparently created new clothes, just like Wolf’s did) revealed another seam on my stomach. When I put my hand on it, I felt the shape of teeth inside.

Not knowing what to do with that for the moment, I stepped through the door and… was awestruck. The whole island seemed more alive and vibrant than it had before. There were little yellow lights that moved among the blades of grass, like fireflies. Looking up, I saw a large cloud with what looked like lightning flashing in it. I don't have words to describe the colour of it, as it's not like anything I've seen before. Either way, it seemed to get something going in my head, because I suddenly wanted to create something myself. I looked out at the abyss that surrounded the island and imagined shimmering water. As I focused on the idea, it took shape in front of me. A pond formed on one side of the island with endless water spilling off its outer edge into the darkness below.    

The sound of applause drew my attention back. Turning, I saw Wolf standing there with a huge grin on her face.

“Wonderful work!” she beamed as she stepped closer to me. Her eyes shone with a light that I hadn’t seen before. “Look at you!” she clapped my shoulders with her hands before pulling me into a hug. “How do you feel?” she asked as she let me go.

“I feel amazing” I said with a grin of my own. It was true. I felt so much better. Even the sores had disappeared. “Everything looks and feels so different”  

“Excellent!” she said, “We’ll have to do some training to get you used to your new abilities, but for now, enjoy the experience.” She hopped up and down in excitement “I’m so happy for you! So proud!”

Since then, I’ve been looking all over the island analysing the colours and running my hands through the grass, enjoying small sensations in a way I couldn’t before. I’ve even added some fish to the pond, little splashes of colour swimming through the water.

It’s beautiful.    

Path of Needles or Path of Pins

It probably seems like an obvious choice, doesn’t it? Accept Wolf’s offer and become stronger, able to fight in ways I couldn’t before, able to leave and come back whenever I want, and able to build whatever I want here. It seems obvious, and yet I’m hesitating.   

The image of that creature is burned into my brain. I keep thinking about it, wondering if I could live with the knowledge that that thing is a part of me.

I guess it technically already is, what with these stitches, but this is different. This would make it a bigger, much more obvious part of me with new urges and a fucked up physiology.

Even if I was okay with that, would I really still be myself then?

Wolf said that my actions would still be my choice, but what if I’m not strong enough to resist the hunger? I mean, Fell has to fight so hard to resist it, and she’s a lot tougher than I am. I know I’ve fought some pretty significant urges in the past while getting off the oxys, but I couldn’t even keep myself from looking at that thing. What happens when it becomes part of me?

I don’t want to be the next one rampaging around, eating kids.

At least as a human, I know who I am. I know what I’m capable of and where my lines are. I’ve also made it this far without any fancy powers… though that’s because I’ve had help. And if I don’t accept the offer, I’ll be dependent on Wolf for getting in and out of this place. I would have to keep depending on her for protection too. I’d keep being the weak one that people try use against her. Is it really fair for me to keep putting that burden on her if there’s a way to change things?

Also, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t curious about what it’s like to be something more than human. But is that curiosity worth the risk?