Sunday, December 16, 2012


Deer boy finally got his hands dirty last night.

See, the Wolf told me that there’s this runner we were supposed to put some fear into and the best way to do that while popping Hart’s murder cherry, would be by killing someone close to her. This little bitch still lived with her daddy, so we slipped in while she was out and took out the old man. It wasn’t hard especially since the stupid shit left the back door unlocked. We got in and surprised the old fuck. The Wolf punched him, knocking him out cold. She stretched him out on his back and knelt on his arms, then told me to take a leg. He woke up pretty quick when the spike of my tomahawk went into his left leg. The fucker tried to scream but the Wolf had her hand over his mouth. She told him to shut up and stop struggling or we’d kill his daughter. That settled him down.

Then it was Hart’s turn. The pussy had turned away, not wanting to see what we were doing. I grabbed him and pulled him over. The Wolf took her hand off the old man’s mouth and handed Hart one of her knives. She told him to kill the old bastard, then told me to kill Hart if he didn’t. The cheap ass bandana that Hart had pulled over the lower half of his face did fuck all to hide how scared he was as he took the knife in his shaking hands, looking from the man, to the Wolf, to me. I thought he was going to piss himself when the old man started talking, asking why we were doing this and quietly begging for mercy, more for his daughter than for himself.       

Finally, Hart knelt by the old man’s side. He apologized, screwed his eyes shut and stabbed down. He stabbed the old man again and again until he finally died. Then he looked up from his work. His eyes were glazed and full of tears. The Wolf seemed not to notice or care as she took back the knife and ordered me to take the old fuck’s head off. We stuffed his body in a closet and left his head on the daughter’s bed with an operator symbol drawn in his blood.

Hart’s been quiet since then. He’s just been sitting in his room shaking and staring at the walls. When we got back I had to help him wash the blood off his hands and the bit of his face that his bandana left exposed. I keep telling him that he did fine and that it’ll get easier. Hopefully his shock will wear off soon. The Wolf hasn’t been much help. She just slapped him and told him that this was how it had to be, that he didn’t even know the old guy or his daughter and that he had best get over it.  

Anyway, I think I’m going to try to make some Xmas decorations. Maybe that will help. I don’t know. I gotta fucking try something, I guess


  1. As clichéd as it sounds, the first kill is always the toughest. No matter prepared you are. Father always told us that when we trained.

    He was right.


  2. Mira: Yeah, that's what I've been trying to tell him. I don't know how much is getting through tho

    CS: What in the fuck are you talking about? Didn't you die or decide to fuck off or something?