Sunday, March 24, 2013


Been focusing my attention on Fell lately. Her injuries are healed but she is still in the process of being built back up. Been trying to take it slow so as not to cause further problems. Also have been trying to set aside more time for personal matters. After that bit of a blow up we had in the comments, myself and Fell had a long talk. Against my better judgement, I let her past my defenses, past the arms-length at which I had held her. I still worry about what the price might be for opening up to her… but… on the other hand, it does feel nice and, as Fell pointed out I can’t control how she feels anyway… and considering what I do, pain and death are a given regardless of my actions, so I may as well do what I can to enjoy the ride and see to it that Fell and Hart do as well. If that means opening up to Fell, then, that is what I will do.

Also been trying to restore the balance within myself. I’ve been working on a new knitting project.

It’s a stuffed toy of a Honduran white bat…. It was a project for no other effect than to be cute and to satisfy that part of me. No orders from Ritter, no destruction, just creation
I’m pleased with the result, the balance of light and dark with neither interfering with the other.
Fell has been knitting along with me. She has improved a lot, but she keeps restarting her project. Says she wants the stitches to be perfect.

Fell’s been helping me in other ways too. She lets me know when I’m seeing things that aren’t there. Helps me to keep my grip on reality; to keep control.
Hart has been helping out where he can with the cleaning and the cooking. He’s rather adept in the kitchen. He’s come a long way in his fighting skills too. I’m glad that he is adapting to things here. Now, if I could just teach him how to knit hahaha