These
past few days have been hard on my guest.
She
had been so worried for her sister and her friend
Poor
Corina, doubly betrayed; first by my guest, then by Sammi.
I’ll
leave it to Sunshine to fill you in on the gory details hehe but suffice it to
say that Sammi is quite the little monster herself
My
guest was having such trouble believing her little sister could do something
like that. It was truly touching, the faith that she had in her, only showing
concern and pleading that we tell Sammi that she loves her. It made it all the
more beautiful when Sammi’s response was to call her a fake bitch. To be fair,
I don’t think Sammi knew of her sister’s predicament, but I could tell from the
look on my dear guest’s face that those words had broken her already wounded
heart.
It
wasn’t long after that it became apparent she was starting to believe what
Sunshine was saying about her sister.
So
she’s had to deal with the death of the friend she had attempted to betray, the
fact that her sister is not what she thought and the trauma of her sister
calling her a bitch after she had gone through so much pain and worry for her.
Not only that but for all either of us knows, her sister could be dead now.
This
on top of the tortures I have been inflicting upon her. Oh yes! I’ve been
cutting away at her mentally and physically. As I hinted at in the last post,
I’ve been working on renaming her. The symbol I carved into her is just a
stylized, aesthetic arrangement of the letters of her new name. While I’ve been
calling her Kristy here, for the sake of clarity and keeping you in suspense
hehe, I’ve been calling her by another name when speaking to her:
Fell
Decided
upon that name for a variety of linguistic and literary reasons that perhaps I
might share at some point. For right now, I have too much else to say, so I’ll
just leave it at that. Just know that this is the name by which I will refer to
her from now on. She hasn’t accepted the name as her own yet, of course, but
that’s okay. She will.
Been
continuing the cutting and stitching too.
So
pretty and getting prettier with every cut. Oh the hate that was in her eyes
when I told her that hahaha
Cut
further designs into her such as this one
And
this one
Like
the one of her name, these designs are just words with the letters aesthetically
arranged. The first one being Ritter, the second one being Rache, which is
German for revenge. Certainly superior markings to that meaningless rose. These
have plenty of meaning behind them
Anyway,
back to my initial point; this has been a difficult few days for Fell. The poor
dear was distraught, so I figured I’d cheer her up.
So
on Saturday, we had a girly night!! Eee!!
Made
a special shopping trip earlier in the day to pick up some tea and razor blades
just for it!
Later
that evening, I put on a movie on my laptop… Not a fan of chick flicks but I
figured a Dario Argento film would work just as well. Ever see Phenomena? If
not, you should. Where else are you going to see the girl from Labyrinth, Dr.
Loomis, a chimp and several varieties of insect team up to fight crime? It’s
awesome!
Sunshine
had previously told me that Sammi had mentioned Fell’s favorite type of tea,
and suggested that I should brew some of it, just to let her smell it. So
that’s exactly what I did. As the scent of the tea filled the room, she started
to shake.
Wouldn’t
be a girly night without someone’s hair getting done, so I did hers.
And
by that I mean I cut her hair short. The shaking made it difficult to get it
even, but it was worth it.
We
talked about boys too. Specifically, I asked her again about her boyfriend and
if he is cute. She told me that he is. I could see how much it hurt her to
think about him at that point.
I
couldn’t exactly do her nails as she only has two left, so I focused on her
fingertips instead. I used a razor blade to remove a few layers of skin from
each of her fingertips.
“There!
See! I’ve even changed your finger prints” I said with a smile when it was
done
I was
wearing my collar at the time so I took it off and let her try it on. It looked
quite good, though she didn’t seem to like it, so I left it on her.
These
actions might seem pointless as they cause minimal physical discomfort, but I
figure that the less that she has to hold onto in terms of her current
identity, her self-image, the better. At the same time, the smell of the tea,
the memories it carried for her, that little reminder of just what I was taking
from her was clearly taking its toll on her mind. She quietly whimpered,
groaned and cried as I went about my work. She’s adorable, but especially so
when she cries.
There
was no begging, however. As a matter of fact, since Friday, she has been in
something of a stupor; crying out whenever I hurt her, but otherwise remaining
silent. I guess the incident with Sammi really took it out of her. That changed
today however…
So
now we’re playing a little game, I’ll post the details tomorrow, as well as
whether she won or not.
It's a testament to her strength that she's lasted so long-- entire weeks, a month soon.
ReplyDeleteYour word designs for her have an incredible, grim beauty to them, too....do stay well, dear Wolf.
I've actually been very careful with what I've been doing to Fell in terms of the physical torment. The wounds she's received may hurt a lot and look bad, but they're not life threatening unless they get infected and I've been working hard to avoid that. I think the little game was the riskiest thing I've done. Also I've been feeding her.
DeleteThus, on a physical level, it's not surprising that she's still alive.
In terms of her mental state, yes, she's proving herself to be tougher than she seemed.
As for the designs, thank you. I'm glad you see the same beauty in them that I do.
And thanks again for wishing me well