Fell so far

Hello my name is Kristy

or Fell

I don’t know anymore

So hard to think

She is making me write again

I don’t know what to say but I can’t stop.

I can’t

I can’t move I can’t get away

She laughed and said that there won’t be anything left of me

There is nothing left

Nothing left of me

I wish she’d let me die

But she won’t

Why did you have to leave me Josh? You didn’t even look back you bastard you left me

you brought me into this and you fucking left me

I hate you    

An experiment

My weekend plans got slightly delayed

I must confess loves, I’ve been naughty… My dear employer is not happy

Such a jealous god, he is…

Not sure if his anger is due to a warning whispered behind his back, a bad influence, or just the very idea that his will might be challenged in any way

Still shaken from Ritter’s… tender mercies

Don’t fret however, I’m alright. Late Sunday night, I took a few of my needles and stuck them under some of my own fingernails and then I felt right as rain… Ritter seemed to like it too

Couldn’t let things get me down Mrs. Brown… I needed to cheer up, get up and earn another scar 

So yesterday, I moved on to the next stage in my plan… The experiment

Salvia Divinorum, for those of you who don’t know, is a nifty little plant that was traditionally used for spiritual healing rituals. Ingesting the leaves can cause various sensory hallucinations and the juice of the crushed leaves makes for a rather enlightening cup of tea that tends to leave you with a sense of well-being. I’m fairly sure it’s still legal in most of the United States, while up here in Canada it’s kind of a legal shade of grey. The point is, the fine people at the local New Age shops will sell it if you ask nicely, so I went on another little shopping trip just for Fell. I tell you, I spoil that girl. 

When I came back, I set about making the tea. My hope was that it would help make her more suggestible. Once it was ready and cooled sufficiently I brought a cup of it to Fell’s lips. She drank it without much resistance, though after a few minutes, I could see it dawning on her that something wasn’t quite right 

“What did you do to me?”

“I just gave you some tea, that’s all dear”

She looked down and muttered something I couldn’t quite hear. A few minutes later she looked back up

“Everything’s moving”

She went silent for another few minutes

“I think I’m becoming part of this chair” She said finally “I’m growing into it or it is growing into me”

“Well, everyone has to be part of a chair sometime, I guess” I said with a laugh

She started giggling “that doesn’t make sense”

“Yeah? Well neither does this pencil” I said, holding up a marker

She looked genuinely confused for a minute, then started to laugh. Then she turned towards Ritter: “I can see all your little pieces, like little black worms. Better be careful the crows don’t get you”

 I laughed at this and Ritter tilted his head

“Speaking of which,” I said, deciding to guide the conversation a little, “How did you two crazy kids meet?”

“That’s the tallest fuckin’ kid I’ve ever seen…Saw him in the park once with regular sized kids”

“He is a tall boy isn’t he?” I said. She giggled in response, so I continued “Did you see him any time before then?”

“No- well in those videos that Josh… showed… me” She seemed to drift off

“Josh... That’s your boyfriend, right?”

I had come to know his name already, but I had been waiting to see if I could get her to tell me willingly

“Yeah” She frowned and seemed to be thinking or trying to focus. “He left me”

“So he did” I said

“Let me get this straight… From what you’ve told me, Josh introduced you to Slender Man, then you both started seeing him, then you had to deal with the proxies in that area so you came here, which was his idea. I turned up in your bedroom, which was clearly too close for his comfort, so he took off, leaving you with us. Am I correct so far?”

Her tears had started to flow again, and she could barely get out a faint “Yeah”

“So then… he is ultimately the reason that you’re here? Wow… You know, from the sounds of it, I bet he was just keeping you around as a human shield in case something like this happened”

“I loved him… He said he loved me... I thought he did”

She wept for a little while, then seemed to get lost in her own thoughts

“I miss my rose” She said finally

“Aw, I know you do Fell but at least you have all these other pretty designs and they look so nice on you”

She started to brighten up slightly

“But my name isn’t Fell”

“Isn’t it? Why not? Fell is such a nice name. It’s cute just like you”

She started giggling through her remaining tears

“Thanks… but I think my name is Kristy”

“Why is that name so important?”

She laughed

“I don’t know… It’s just my name”

“That doesn’t seem like much of a reason”

“Well… my parents gave it to me”

“Your parents? The people you sold out so quickly? They can’t be that important to you… if they’re even still alive… if they would want to have anything to do with you anymore… look what you did to your friend; what you did to your sister, after all”

“I didn’t want to! I didn’t want to be here”

“Then why did you come to the island?”

“Josh said we’d be safe! He promised me! He left me… He brought me into this…”

“And your family”

“Oh my god…He did! How co-”

Her words broke off and she started sobbing like a child.

I moved behind her and placed my arms around her shoulders in a gentle hug to try to get her to calm down. I whispered sweet words of understanding, speaking as if she had come to that conclusion about Josh herself and that I hadn’t presented her drug addled mind with the same mere moments ago.

I felt her relax into the hug as much as her restraints would allow. She started to drift off and I didn’t stop her

I think I might have made some real progress with this experiment, though I can’t be sure just yet… Either way, I certainly had fun with it hehe

Ritter is still not happy, pleased though he may have been with my needlework and my tactics with Fell, but I hope by the time I’m finished with her, he will be

Games

As I said previously, Fell had been in a stupor since Friday, but that changed yesterday

I had been sticking needles through the flesh of her right breast while taunting her over everything that had happened and her current condition. She was whimpering and crying but not saying anything else.

I laughed, “You’re becoming my pretty little pin cushion as well as my sweet, suffering doll”

“Fuck you” came the sudden response

I admit, I was taken by surprise

“What was that?” I said

“Fuck you, you psychotic cunt! I’m not your doll because unlike you, I’m not a toy! You’re that thing’s toy! His bitch! Cori’s dead… Sammi-”

“I liked you better when you were quiet, Fell” I said, picking up one of the razor blades “How about we go back to that, hmm?

I grabbed her face and crammed the blade into her mouth

“Don’t try to spit it back out, you’ll ruin the fun! We’re going to play a little game now. We’ll see if you can shut up and stay still until I finish sticking you with the needles. If I hear so much as a whimper out of you or if you move I’m going to start hitting you, which I can guarantee you won’t like… You might even end up swallowing the blade. I’d love to see the look on your face as your insides are being cut. Oh, and if you try to spit the blade out, I’ll sew your mouth shut with it inside”     

Her eyes went wide but she remained still. I continued my work, taking my time, savoring every needle. I took breaks every so often too.

The poor thing tried her best. For a while, all I could hear was her pained, frightened breathing as she stared straight ahead. Eventually though, she started to shake. I looked up from my work to see the fear in her eyes increasing as her hurt, tired body betrayed her. I grinned, gently brushing a hand against her soft cheek.

I slapped her

It was a light slap, but enough to move the blade and cut the inside of her mouth. To her credit, she made no attempt to remove the blade and she remained quiet despite the tears in her eyes and the blood dribbling out of her mouth, so I allowed her some time to compose herself before continuing with the needles.

I only had to slap her twice more due to her shaking. The rest of the time she was still and silent.

I stood in front of her, holding up a needle and admiring my work.

“Where should I start sticking these now hmm? Heh… maybe your twat next, what do you think?”

She didn’t move or make a sound. I was very impressed.

“Good girl”

I put down the needle and told her to open her mouth, which she did, then I removed the razor blade

“Congratulations, you made it through. You’ve won a little break. Oh, and you can scream now, if you want to”   

She spat out some blood. While I was working, she had been either staring straight ahead or had kept her eyes shut. Now she seemed to be taking in the full extent of the damage done with the needles. I had covered both breasts, and parts of her belly and thighs… Even stuck a needle under each of her two remaining fingernails, though she couldn’t see that. I thought she looked like a work of art. She apparently did not agree. I heard her whisper “I’m okay” to herself a few times as she surveyed my work before she finally broke down and let out a howl of misery, followed by sobbing

I have since removed the needles. Other than the usual clean ups, I will not touch her again for the next couple of days unless she does something stupid.

Again, I’m very impressed and pleased with how this worked out. It’s got me feeling good about my plans for the weekend… a little experiment.

Unfortunately, the occasion has been somewhat marred by my concerns. I had a short conversation with sweet Penelope after I posted last night that has me very worried for Sunshine… though part of me is wondering how much of what she said to believe. She claims that Ritter doesn’t like that Sunshine doesn’t show fear and has lead him to where her and her friends can get him. She claims that Ritter told one of her friends that he wouldn’t be there were it not for me…

Like I said, I don’t know how much of it I believe as sweet Penelope and her little friends seemed to be able to find Sunshine easily enough before without Ritter’s help…

Piece by piece

These past few days have been hard on my guest.

She had been so worried for her sister and her friend  

Poor Corina, doubly betrayed; first by my guest, then by Sammi. 

I’ll leave it to Sunshine to fill you in on the gory details hehe but suffice it to say that Sammi is quite the little monster herself

My guest was having such trouble believing her little sister could do something like that. It was truly touching, the faith that she had in her, only showing concern and pleading that we tell Sammi that she loves her. It made it all the more beautiful when Sammi’s response was to call her a fake bitch. To be fair, I don’t think Sammi knew of her sister’s predicament, but I could tell from the look on my dear guest’s face that those words had broken her already wounded heart.

It wasn’t long after that it became apparent she was starting to believe what Sunshine was saying about her sister.

So she’s had to deal with the death of the friend she had attempted to betray, the fact that her sister is not what she thought and the trauma of her sister calling her a bitch after she had gone through so much pain and worry for her. Not only that but for all either of us knows, her sister could be dead now.

This on top of the tortures I have been inflicting upon her. Oh yes! I’ve been cutting away at her mentally and physically. As I hinted at in the last post, I’ve been working on renaming her. The symbol I carved into her is just a stylized, aesthetic arrangement of the letters of her new name. While I’ve been calling her Kristy here, for the sake of clarity and keeping you in suspense hehe, I’ve been calling her by another name when speaking to her:

Fell

Decided upon that name for a variety of linguistic and literary reasons that perhaps I might share at some point. For right now, I have too much else to say, so I’ll just leave it at that. Just know that this is the name by which I will refer to her from now on. She hasn’t accepted the name as her own yet, of course, but that’s okay. She will.

  

Been continuing the cutting and stitching too.

So pretty and getting prettier with every cut. Oh the hate that was in her eyes when I told her that hahaha

Cut further designs into her such as this one

And this one

Like the one of her name, these designs are just words with the letters aesthetically arranged. The first one being Ritter, the second one being Rache, which is German for revenge. Certainly superior markings to that meaningless rose. These have plenty of meaning behind them

Anyway, back to my initial point; this has been a difficult few days for Fell. The poor dear was distraught, so I figured I’d cheer her up.

So on Saturday, we had a girly night!! Eee!!

Made a special shopping trip earlier in the day to pick up some tea and razor blades just for it!

Later that evening, I put on a movie on my laptop… Not a fan of chick flicks but I figured a Dario Argento film would work just as well. Ever see Phenomena? If not, you should. Where else are you going to see the girl from Labyrinth, Dr. Loomis, a chimp and several varieties of insect team up to fight crime? It’s awesome!

Sunshine had previously told me that Sammi had mentioned Fell’s favorite type of tea, and suggested that I should brew some of it, just to let her smell it. So that’s exactly what I did. As the scent of the tea filled the room, she started to shake.

Wouldn’t be a girly night without someone’s hair getting done, so I did hers.

And by that I mean I cut her hair short. The shaking made it difficult to get it even, but it was worth it.

We talked about boys too. Specifically, I asked her again about her boyfriend and if he is cute. She told me that he is. I could see how much it hurt her to think about him at that point.

I couldn’t exactly do her nails as she only has two left, so I focused on her fingertips instead. I used a razor blade to remove a few layers of skin from each of her fingertips.

“There! See! I’ve even changed your finger prints” I said with a smile when it was done 

I was wearing my collar at the time so I took it off and let her try it on. It looked quite good, though she didn’t seem to like it, so I left it on her.

These actions might seem pointless as they cause minimal physical discomfort, but I figure that the less that she has to hold onto in terms of her current identity, her self-image, the better. At the same time, the smell of the tea, the memories it carried for her, that little reminder of just what I was taking from her was clearly taking its toll on her mind. She quietly whimpered, groaned and cried as I went about my work. She’s adorable, but especially so when she cries.

There was no begging, however. As a matter of fact, since Friday, she has been in something of a stupor; crying out whenever I hurt her, but otherwise remaining silent. I guess the incident with Sammi really took it out of her. That changed today however…

So now we’re playing a little game, I’ll post the details tomorrow, as well as whether she won or not.