Friday, December 9, 2022

Path of Needles or Path of Pins

It probably seems like an obvious choice, doesn’t it? Accept Wolf’s offer and become stronger, able to fight in ways I couldn’t before, able to leave and come back whenever I want, and able to build whatever I want here. It seems obvious, and yet I’m hesitating.   

The image of that creature is burned into my brain. I keep thinking about it, wondering if I could live with the knowledge that that thing is a part of me.

I guess it technically already is, what with these stitches, but this is different. This would make it a bigger, much more obvious part of me with new urges and a fucked up physiology.

Even if I was okay with that, would I really still be myself then?

Wolf said that my actions would still be my choice, but what if I’m not strong enough to resist the hunger? I mean, Fell has to fight so hard to resist it, and she’s a lot tougher than I am. I know I’ve fought some pretty significant urges in the past while getting off the oxys, but I couldn’t even keep myself from looking at that thing. What happens when it becomes part of me?

I don’t want to be the next one rampaging around, eating kids.

At least as a human, I know who I am. I know what I’m capable of and where my lines are. I’ve also made it this far without any fancy powers… though that’s because I’ve had help. And if I don’t accept the offer, I’ll be dependent on Wolf for getting in and out of this place. I would have to keep depending on her for protection too. I’d keep being the weak one that people try use against her. Is it really fair for me to keep putting that burden on her if there’s a way to change things?

Also, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t curious about what it’s like to be something more than human. But is that curiosity worth the risk?

1 comment:

  1. I already said my bit about the fucking hunger, but I also think that the Wolf shouldn't factor into your decision. It's your body and your life. You need to do what's best for you, not anybody else.

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