Path of Needles or Path of Pins

It probably seems like an obvious choice, doesn’t it? Accept Wolf’s offer and become stronger, able to fight in ways I couldn’t before, able to leave and come back whenever I want, and able to build whatever I want here. It seems obvious, and yet I’m hesitating.   

The image of that creature is burned into my brain. I keep thinking about it, wondering if I could live with the knowledge that that thing is a part of me.

I guess it technically already is, what with these stitches, but this is different. This would make it a bigger, much more obvious part of me with new urges and a fucked up physiology.

Even if I was okay with that, would I really still be myself then?

Wolf said that my actions would still be my choice, but what if I’m not strong enough to resist the hunger? I mean, Fell has to fight so hard to resist it, and she’s a lot tougher than I am. I know I’ve fought some pretty significant urges in the past while getting off the oxys, but I couldn’t even keep myself from looking at that thing. What happens when it becomes part of me?

I don’t want to be the next one rampaging around, eating kids.

At least as a human, I know who I am. I know what I’m capable of and where my lines are. I’ve also made it this far without any fancy powers… though that’s because I’ve had help. And if I don’t accept the offer, I’ll be dependent on Wolf for getting in and out of this place. I would have to keep depending on her for protection too. I’d keep being the weak one that people try use against her. Is it really fair for me to keep putting that burden on her if there’s a way to change things?

Also, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t curious about what it’s like to be something more than human. But is that curiosity worth the risk?

Wolf's Offer

Wolf called me to the kitchen and asked me to take a seat at the table.

“What’s up?” I asked as I sat across from her.

“Remember how I said that we had something important to discuss?”

I nodded

“Well, now that you’ve had some time to rest and recover, I don’t see a point in delaying it further” she said, before taking a deep breath.

“You were right when you wondered if I was eating the corpse. Consuming its flesh was what allowed me to take its power… All of its power” She looked at her hands like she was reflecting on her current state. “And now I would like to share it with you.”

“What? How??” I blurted. I don’t know what I was expecting when she said we needed to talk, but this definitely wasn’t it.

“The same way I did; through consumption” she responded “I ate that creature’s flesh, but only as much as I had to. The rest of the corpse is tucked safely away, but I’ve cut several sections of its meat for you and stored them in the fridge. If you eat it, you will have the same power I do. This domain will be ours rather than mine, and you can shape it along with me.” She paused thoughtfully, for a moment “Right now, I can speak to you telepathically as well as feel where you are thanks to those stitches in you. That ability would be yours as well. You would also be able to travel to the world we left. You could leave and return as you please, so if something was to happen to me, you wouldn’t be stranded.”

I sat in stunned silence for a little while, trying to process what she was saying.

“What about the ‘threads” and teeth and… stomach mouth?” I finally asked. “Would I have those too?”

She smiled “Yes, but they probably won’t look exactly like mine. I suspect that much of the… rougher aspects of my appearance are due to a mix of Osprey’s ritual and my self perception.”

“Okay…” I said, “Well what about the mental side of things? No offense, but you’ve been more… impulsive since you came back”

“You will likely be similarly affected… You may also feel certain urges, but it will still be your choice to act on them.”

“Urges?” I raised an eyebrow.

“The hunger” she responded.

“… I need to think about this…” I muttered, as my mind buzzed with the possibilities

“Of course,” she said “take all the time you need. Just know that whatever path you take, I’m proud of you. Not many people could have come this far and survived the things you have. You should be proud of yourself for that too.”

Even in my shocked state, that made me smile.

“Thanks”

“Thank you for sticking with me through all of this,” she responded. “You don’t know how grateful I am for that.” She stood up “Now, I think I’m going to make some tea, would you like some?”

“Yes, please.”

That’s where the conversation ended. I’m seriously going to have to weigh my options before I make this decision.