Figured I couldn’t really judge

Roy for his mission to end us all but I thought he should get up close to at least one of his victims. So not long after our conversation, I arranged that for him.

He wasn’t pleased. Don’t know why. He would be the potential killer of the world, so why would he have a problem with torturing one woman?

True, her pleas for mercy were enough to break any decent person’s heart, but I’m sure there would be many like her in that final hour.

“It’s time for your lesson, hero.”

“I-I couldn’t”

“What’s wrong, dear? You said you were interested before- amused even. You would end us all, including her, so why hold back now? I’m giving you a taste of the bloodshed to come! Why not savor it?”

“I don’t want to kill innocent people Wolf! I’m trying to protect everyone!”

“Ah yes, you want to protect people by doing something that will potentially get them all killed… but in your own words, maybe it’s for the best. If that is your idea of protection, then come on hero- protect her; kill her- save her through the pain!”
 
I grabbed his hand and forced him to take the knife I had been holding

“No! Why are you doing this?!”

“Doing what? Making you kill her? Heh… You were going to do that anyway. You’re a bit closer than what you had planned and the method is different, but the result is the same.”

“I won’t!”

“Won’t what? Won’t look one of the casualties of your little venture in the eyes first? I don’t understand you hero; one minute you’re ready to end the world for a chance at fighting my boss, the next minute you won’t even cut another person. You want to gamble with humanity? This is what you must do. If you cannot deal with that, then give up your search.”

At the mention of ending his search, his eyes changed again. He suddenly dropped to one knee, slamming the knife down on the prone, bound woman, striking a fatal blow. He stood back up, looked at me and lunged. I did not try to stop him. He tackled me to the ground. I laughed as he raised the knife.

He screamed as his wrist was broken. By the time I got to my feet, Fell was on top of him; her hands squeezing his throat. Conveniently, his eyes were back to normal, though filled with fear.
Made Fell ease up- let him get some air every now and then so he could talk.

“Wolf..."

"You were going to kill me”

“…Didn’t want to…”

“I know”

“…Please…”

“You accused me of wanting you to become a hollow, well it looks to me like you’re well on your way there without my help. Look at you hero, you are losing control and slipping away. If you keep going, you will lose everything and we all will pay the price. I don’t want to kill you but I have run out of time for your foolishness.”

I ordered Fell to let him go, which she did after some hesitation

“Time to choose which path you will take, hero. Choose now and choose wisely”
Roy slowly stood up but did not meet my gaze. He looked down at the ground as he spoke.

"I told you before to stop calling me a damn hero. You've explained before that you call me a hero because I've 'seen the ugliness- the malice or desperation in those marked by the Fears one way or another' and yet...I still try to rise above it. But honestly I'm sick of it. I'm not a fucking hero, and I was never a fucking hero."  

He gestured to the dead woman with his good hand before returning it to nurse his broken wrist

"Does a hero kill an innocent?” His voice shook “Does a hero let everyone around him die because he's too weak to stop it? Does a hero risk the whole god damn world because of a small hope, a small chance that everything will work out in the end? No, I don't deserve that name. I never deserved that name."

He kept his eyes locked on the ground, trying to hide his tears.

"I've let my naivety get the better of me time and time again, and the people around me always end up paying for it. Maybe...maybe it would be better I just died here. I don't want to collect the objects anymore but....you're right. I'm losing it, and I realize that. So maybe it would be for the best if you just killed me now." He finally looked me in the eye "Before my mistakes can hurt anyone else."

I looked away; considering the situation and trying to find the right words. I turned back to him with a smile.

“Suppose that would be the safest bet” I said, moving closer to him. To his credit, he stayed still, though his eyes betrayed all. I placed a hand on his cheek, wiping away a tear. “I could snuff you out right now- it would be easy. No more fighting, no more mistakes, no hard lessons. If that’s what you want, then close your eyes, dear. I’ll make this quick.”

He took in a breath and shut his eyes.

I withdrew my hand, then slammed it back into his face; the punch knocking him to the ground

Fell laughed

Roy sat up and looked up at me; his expression was a mix of confusion and anger

“That was for being stupid and cowardly. I’m not going to kill you, hero.”

“Why not? I tried to kill you.”

“Well you did a poor job of it, so now you have to live with the consequences.” I said with a laugh.

“This isn’t fucking funny!”

I sighed

“Alright, listen- What you tried to do to me, and what you did do to her- you weren’t in control. Whatever power is behind those objects had manipulated you and taken over. I told you before that by letting your desperation overtake your reason, you were making the same mistakes that you made with Sagari. Your heart was in the right place but your mind was left in the dust. Thus you were manipulated twice. If you want to stop hurting others with your mistakes, then you need to be willing to learn from them and you can’t do that if you’re dead.”

“But I’m tired Wolf. I’ve tried my best and failed. I can’t fight and when I try, I make things worse. I can’t do this anymore.”

“Such is the way, my dear. Most who get involved- whether runner or servant- will try to accomplish their little goals only to tire, die and end up forgotten. But they keep going until the bitter end.”

“What’s the point?”

“That’s for you to decide. Personally, I stick around to take care of those close to me as best I can and to enjoy what this life has to offer until my story reaches its end. Insignificant in the grand scheme of things and in a few years no one will remember me or care to, but it’s what I choose to do with my time here.”

“I tried to protect everyone, but I kept screwing it up.”

“Then you must learn and adapt to be better help.”

“God damn it, you’re a murderer! You killed lots of innocent people, so why are you being so stubborn about killing me? Don’t I deserve it?”

“Heh… Out of the two of us, I’m the one more deserving of death. As for why I don’t kill you; maybe it’s because you are a friend. Maybe it’s because I’m a monster and thus I refuse to let you go that easily. Besides, if I was just going to kill you, I wouldn’t have bothered trying to talk to you about those objects- you would be dead, hero.”

“I’m not-”    

“You are to me. Besides, if you had truly retired your white hat, then you would not care about a random woman like her or an old monster like me. But if you really want to walk away from the hero business, you could always join the family!”

“I can’t. I can’t be a servant but I-”

He broke off as new tears flowed. I knelt next to him on the ground and offered him a hug, which he accepted. I listened while he spoke the rest of his concerns. When he was ready, we got his wrist taken care of.

Since then, I have been trying to help him overcome the power that has been influencing his mind. When he leaves here, he will have to make the decision to rid himself of that which he has collected, or keep it with him to try to keep it away from others while attempting to resist its control.