I seem to have gone from a period of sleep deprivation to sleep overload, not that it makes things any better. The sleep felt thick and heavy and I woke up feeling more exhausted than before. I remember dreaming that my dear employer was watching those who hurt me. He was closer this time.
The only other dream I recall having was like something out of The Ring. I was looking down into a stream. There was a snake swallowing its tail circling slowly under the water against the stream bed. Then it switched to the same thing but done as if it were on a cheap kids’ show, with the water being represented by two long pieces of blue cardboard, cut to make wave shapes, moving back and forth and the snake being represented by a puppet. The dream switched again and I found myself in the basement they locked me into, looking up at the door which then started to open. Then everything went black but I could hear things. The dream had been silent up until this point, but now there were sounds. I heard what sounded like a mix of static, the buzzing of a fly and someone crying. The crying was then replaced by another voice that spoke to me. I can’t remember what it said. The dream went silent again and I was underwater, looking up at the surface but not trying to get there. I feel like there was more to the dream than that, but I can’t remember. I just remember waking up feeling sick and making it to the bathroom before vomiting.
I don’t know if that dream means anything or not, but considering it was one of the only two dreams I remember having over the past few days, and I was ill right after, I thought I should make a record of it just in case.
As I mentioned, I’ve also had to deal with some of the others. Not much to say about that. I played my expected role again and maintained the illusion of status quo just as I did with those who hurt me.
As for the blogs I’ve been following, well that in itself is nothing new. Still watching out for any word from my catalyst, but he’s been quiet lately.
What’s odd is the reaction I got from Morningstar on his blog on Saturday… Seems I struck a bit close to home with an offhand comment, which he promptly deleted, claiming spoilers… Curious… There was only one part of what I said that could possibly make sense in causing that reaction… hmmm…
Speaking of blogs, I notice I have a follower now
Hi Dia :)
If you’re reading this, know that I am just tickled that you have chosen to follow my attempt (probably in vain) at retaining my identity in some way while working for Skinny Boy. May I ask if there’s any particular reason why you’re here, or are you just keeping tabs on anyone who has seen Slendy and decided to commit it to a blog?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ouroboros
ReplyDeleteYou dreamt of the Ouroboros. If you'll follow the link I gave you, you might find some information that would help explain what happened in your dream. I've started taking dreams more seriously than I used to, and the fact that you dreamt of such an old symbol is just plain interesting.
I started following you because, well, you aren't just another carbon copy or Hollow. I may not like the work you do, but Proxies with intelligence are nice to speak with. I've actually had some of the best conversations with Proxies, if you can believe it.
By the way, those that have seen Slendy or the other Fears are struck by the Compulsion. It's generally thought to be caused by the Rake, in an effort to cause chaos.
Your follower, Dia.
Thank you for the link... I think I have an idea of what that dream could mean for me now...
ReplyDeleteI suppose it's to be expected that you would be taking your dreams more seriously especially since talking to someone like The Executor…
Heh… you know, you’re the first person to refer to me as a Proxy. And yes, I can believe that you’ve had some great conversations with Proxies. Some of us can be quite affable and it’s fascinating to be able to see different perspectives on a given situation
Struck by the Compulsion? You mean the drive to take various actions for the purpose of infecting others knowingly or unknowingly?
I’m assuming that the Fears are beings on the same level (for lack of a better word) as my employer… I don’t know them… though I’ve heard talk of the bleeding tree through Morningstar, Zero and several others… does the tree have anything to do with these Fears?
I know Slendy doesn’t seem to like it very much
I also know of the Rake, though I’ve never seen it
.... I didn't want to analyze it as soon as I realized what symbol was in it. I was honestly afraid it might prove too personal if I tried to figure it out. I actually had that dream the same day that I read the Executor's blog for the first time. Needless to say, I nearly had a panic attack when I did. Not the best of times, I can assure you.
ReplyDeleteIsn't that technically what you are? To my knowledge, there aren't any terms for what I am so far. I'm not a Proxy, nor a Runner, nor a Fighter, Gatherer, Mage, or any other term I've found. I'm something new. The differing perspectives are always valuable, though some would throw that fact in my face and act as though I were trying to trick them. Some proxies are so distrustful, I swear.
The Compulsion is that, yes. But also, the Compulsion to write about those affected by Him and the Others, so as to cause chaos and spread knowledge of Their work.
Yes. You might call them brothers and sisters to each other, though in a gruesome kind of family. They are all very fucked up. This is the page:
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheFearMythos
And oh yes, the tree has much to do with them. As do many things.
The Rake, well... if you've ever suffered from sleep paralysis, had someone whisper in your ear when no one was there, or have been struck by the Compulsion, then yes, he has been in your home. Multiple times.
Hmm I’m surprised you care that much. Surprised you wouldn’t want all the personal info you could get on one of us… Blackmail and mental weapons and all that, you know?
ReplyDeleteRegardless, you may analyze it if you wish. If I was worried about its meaning being too personal, I wouldn’t have posted it or I would have taken it down after looking at the link you gave me. Besides, who’s to say that your interpretation would necessarily be correct… These things are awfully subjective
Yes, I suppose you could call me a Proxy. I’ve also heard agent and chosen among others. All these silly little titles… so amusing… Does it make it easier to deal with us when you can safely lock us into a category?
I wonder if in some cases a title makes it easier to deal with oneself?
In any case, I’ve adopted the term for now, as it’s the one you seem comfortable with but you can call me whatever you feel is best… I don’t care… Personally, I’m good with just being Knit Wolf or some variant of that name, though I do like it when OPOF calls me doll hehe
Distrust is on all sides sweetheart, but not without cause. It’s to be expected.
Yeah when I said “actions”, I was including the writing too… Sorry, should have been clearer. The idea of the Compulsion is interesting, but I’m pretty sure there are those who don’t follow it. Do you think in their case it’s an active resistance or are they somehow immune?
Thank you for another informative link… Interesting
Of course now that you’ve said that they’re like a family, I’m picturing a reunion
Also interesting to know about the Rake… Guess I have an extra house guest… Perhaps I’ll set out a pillow for him
I believe in people, no matter how dark or light their heart is. That doesn't mean to say that I'm suicidal or look at everything through rose colored glasses, oh no. But if conversation helps me stay sane, and information helps Runners, than who cares who it comes from? I sure as bloody hell don't.
ReplyDeleteStill too personal for me. I've read it, and minor conclusions jump out at me. Like the fact that, to be corny, you see snakes in the grass for what they truly are. Also, that lately you aren't having any problem seeing ANYONE for what they truly are. Just an opinion, and thus why I don't want to analyze further.
I actually dislike the term Proxy, it seems so ugly. I prefer to call people by their true names or by nicknames, whichever they feel more comfortable with. Mine? Well, for reasons I'll never explain on the internet, my 'alias' is probably a truer one than the one I was given at birth. I am more likely to answer to it than anything else, in all honesty. That's probably why I chose it. Kind of like how the tattoo is more revealing, but no one realizes it.
We're still on different sides, love. I believe it can be true in both cases, though what would cause either I can't tell. I know the active resistance can come from those in denial or cannot open their mind. The natural resistance, well, I believe in blood. That's all.
They actually reunited for the birth of the Manufactured Newborn not too long ago. I just wrote about it, in fact, and it took my several hours just to read all the information about his birth. I think as long as you keep writing, the Rake will be content. ^_^
Interesting interpretation…
ReplyDeleteI too feel more comfortable answering to the name I have given myself. It is also quite revealing on many levels, though people usually don’t get it until they do some digging
I know where we stand in this. I just don’t think that online conversations from many miles away require much in the way of trust. I know you won’t be able to worm anything out of me that I don’t want or feel the need to tell, so I have no problem carrying on a conversation with you. I’m sure you feel the same way about me, though if it means anything, I’m not trying to… It’s not my job hehe
I suspect that there are those on both sides who don’t have this confidence for one reason or another, hence not even trusting a conversation like this. That’s probably why you get accused of trickery at every turn
Yes, I read your post on the Manufactured Newborn. It was clear a lot of work went into summarising everything that led up to it into a single blog post. Well done.
I can just imagine the reunion carrying on after they left with the newborn: The Dying Man asking everyone to pull his finger, the Eye telling Slendy off for getting that snazzy suit for himself bur not being able to hold down a job, the Wooden Girl getting miffed because with the new baby, she’s not the center of attention anymore and everyone else getting drunk.
You understand my meaning, then. Good, very good. It's nice to find someone I don't have to explain my every motive with. People should really learn to lighten up, it's that inability to enjoy their life and live it while they get the chance that keeps leading the bad guys to their door. (Notice, I didn't say Proxies. Bad guys are on both sides.)
ReplyDeleteThe Dying Man, or at least the incarnation I deal with regularly, is a bit of a perv. Peter, one of the biggest Proxies ever at this point, is even more so. I think it's a coping mechanism, but it does make for entertaining conversations.
Dude, the Eye would tell anyone off for getting the last cookie off the top of the refrigerator. Wooden Girl, she's already acting like a brat because of the the kid being born. She already 'died' after she picked a fight with Slendy, and just used one of her puppets to make a new body for herself.